Dispatcher: Don’t take it personally. You gave me the finger, I gave you the tongue.
Salt Lake, Utah
Dispatcher: Don’t take it personally. You gave me the finger, I gave you the tongue.
Salt Lake, Utah
Office girl: I think someone brought in a mail-order nanny on penis cake day.
Scarborough
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
Student: This place is nice.
Employee: Yeah, it’s really peaceful until the homeless guys look at porn on the Internet and they have to call the cops.
Student: Does that happen a lot?
Employee: Yeah. What else do they have to do?
Law Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Phone rep on cell: All right, we'll just keep giving praise to god then!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Project Manager
Employee #1: I think you were aiding and abetting a felony.
Employee #2: Yay, it's been a big day. I made brownies.
Chicago, Illinois
Employee #1: May I take your order, please?
Drive-thru customer: I want a Double Whopper, plain — only cheese and a little mustard.
Employee #1: … I’m sorry, we don’t sell Double Whoppers here.
Customer: Oh, you don’t? Okay, let me get just a Whopper, then.
Employee #2: Sir, we don’t sell Whoppers. This is Wendy’s.
Customer, unfazed: Oh. Okay then.
1066 Independence Boulevard
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: wage slave
Court clerk: Next docketed matter, Wood v. City. Anybody have Wood? If you have Wood, bring it up here.
50 West Randolph Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Larry
Receptionist: Were you here on Tuesday? The smell was awful.
Worker Bee: I kind of liked it, it reminds me of my days as a firefighter.
Receptionist: I didn’t know you’re a fireman?!
Worker Bee: Well, it was in Boy Scout camp…a long time ago.
810 Seventh Ave
In a crowded elevator, everyone is quiet except for the clunking of the elevator.
Employee: That was a new sound.
Manager: My favorite is the screaming.
5720 Peachtree Parkway
Norcross, Georgia
Guy: What was yesterday? Was it the 31st of February?
12 W. 27th Street
New York, NY
