Employee: I married her because I was tired of coming home to an empty house.
Boss: What? Get a dog, damn!
Arkansas
Male worker to supervisor complaining about noise: Oh, I'm sorry. Are we interrupting the interesting conversation about your cancer dog?
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Very pregnant office hoochie: I need to hurry and get outside for one last smoke break before my lunch is over, but I can't go fast with this waddle!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Secretary #1: How was your mother's day?
Secretary #2: Oh, my mother is dead.
Secretary #1: I know. (hyena laugh)
Townsend St
San Francisco, California
IT guy #1: I found out what my wife is saving up for to surprise me for my birthday.
IT guy #2: Divorce.
Surrounding cubes: (uncontrollable laughter)
Woodlands, Texas
Girl #1: I love reading books.
Girl #2: Really? When do you read them?
Girl #1: Oh, after work, and on the weekends.
Pyrmont
Australia
Girl in smoking area: Yeah. Well, they say that the United States has the most severe weather of our whole country.
Evans, Colorado
Overheard by: Princess
Office assistant: Do you want me to send out the “Save the Date” announcement?
Boss: Yes, thanks. That would be helpful.
Office assistant: No problem! I’m happy to spread your STD around!
Boss: [Blank stare.]Office assistant: That sounded bad. But don’t worry… I’m sure no one heard me.
Point Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: I Thought This Was a Healthcare Company
Pod dweller #1: You ever had Indian food?
Pod dweller #2: Indian food? What's that?
Pod dweller #1: You know. Curry and stuff like that.
Pod dweller #2: Curry? That stuff that cows eat?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: matty b
Older woman library user: I'd like to send a sympathy card to Perry Como.
Librarian: I thought he died several years ago.
Library user: I know. The last address I have is in Jupiter, Florida.
Hawthorne, California
Overheard by: librain13
