Assistant: Oh my god, your caulk is dripping!
5001 East Harry Street
Wichita, Kansas
Assistant: Oh my god, your caulk is dripping!
5001 East Harry Street
Wichita, Kansas
Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn
Coalinga, California
Office worker: Check out this description in this help wanted ad. “Customer relations: Must have the ability to communicate effectively both internally and externally with all customers.”
Aspen, Colorado
Boss: Okay, before we cross that Rubicon … Wait, does everyone know what the Rubicon was?
Minion: Yeah! It's the brain!
Boss: (blinks) Okay… Anyone else have a guess?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: veni vidi deridei
Office drone: I'll have to tickle myself for that…
Ojai, California
Overheard by: IntellectualWhore
UPS guy to mailroom guy: You should really consider using FedEx.
Brooklyn, New York
Office girl: I gotta call Peter to tell him he forgot his balls.
Inkster, Michigan
Overheard by: Don't wanna see 'em
Office lady, slurring speech while talking to herself: I'm not drunk; I'm just realistic.
Elmsford, New York
Customer, trying to use his debit card: I gotta push “English”? “Spanish” shouldn’t be an option. If they can’t speak no English, they ain’t got no business being here. Where’s the “yes” button at?
Cashier: It’s the button that says “yes” on it.
Food Lion
Roanoke, Virginia
Event planner: Don't you think we should have background music?
Manager: That would be too expensive.
Event planner: What about just one person playing a harp?
Manager: Do you know someone?
Event planner: Yeah. I know a harpoonist.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Tim
