New analyst to managing director, about golf club: Hey, is your shaft stiff?
51 West 52nd Street
New York, New York
New analyst to managing director, about golf club: Hey, is your shaft stiff?
51 West 52nd Street
New York, New York
Clerk #1: Oh, no, not again!
Clerk #2: What?
Clerk #1: This register! It keeps going down on me!
Gilroy, California
Overheard by: I didn’t know they had that feature
Office grunt on cell: Yesterday I couldn’t even spell ‘truck driver,’ and today I are one!
175 Hutchinson Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Hates Walkie-Talkie Cell Phones
Paralegal in training: Help me! The text that I am typing is replacing the text that is already there!
Patient coworker: Um… Hit the ‘Insert’ key.
Paralegal in training: … Where on the screen do I click that?!
San Francisco, California
Coworker on phone: So, how big are your tits now?!
MoPac Expressway and Braker Lane
Austin, Texas
IT guy: So, are you using straight AutoCAD?
Employee: As opposed to the homosexual one?
41 East 11th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: nex0s
Employee #1: It went well. I have to pick some comp– Compet– Um…
Employee #2: Competencies?
Employee #1: Yeah! … What does that mean?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Peon #1: I’m going to a S.C.O.R.E. meeting tomorrow.
Peon #2: What’s that?
Peon #1: Service Corp of Retired Executives.
Peon #2: What? Retarded Executives?
3201 West Commercial Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Analyst: Somebody open a Help Desk ticket… I need a wet bar. It would be nice to have some brandy next to the coffee… It’s the end of the day — it’s Friday… I need some alcohol. I need some help.
Hospital
Evanston, Illinois
Employee #1: Who’s that new blonde girl that works here?
Employee #2: Which new blonde girl? That doesn’t narrow it down.
Employee #1: You know, the… the slow one. She sounds kind of retarded when she talks.
Employee #2: Kelly*? She’s not retarded, you jerk — she’s from Sweden. English isn’t her first language.
Boston Post Road
Sudbury, Massachusetts
Overheard by: slurific
