Dumb Bosses

Boss: I don’t know why he’s so moody.
Employee: I know! I think he’s bipolar.
Boss: No, I don’t think he even likes the cold.

Imperial, Pennsylvania

Boss: How do I get a binder for this stuff?
Assistant: There’s one in the cabinet.
Boss: Um, how do I get the holes?
Assistant: What?
Boss: How do the holes get in the paper?

3080 Broadway
New York, New York

Boss on phone: I’m the entrepreneur type — I shoot from the hip. I figure I’ll fix it when I’m finished messing it up.

Hayward Avenue
Carteret, New Jersey

Overheard by: Jay-B

Front office girl at medical spa, hanging up phone: The client says we are not taking her concerns seriously, and she is going to report us to the Surgeon General.
Ditzy manager: The Surgeon General? But we don't have anything to do with smoking!
Front office girl, under her breath: I can't believe I have to report to you.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: OMG The IQ level here is amazing

Boss on phone: I just want a human beeeeeeing! Bahhh! Why can’t I just have a human being?…Oh thank god!Finally! A human being! Wait, you are a human being, right?…You haven’t gotten this before?

2810 Blaine Drive
Chevy Chase, Maryland

CSR: This is my senior picture in high school.
Manager: You were a cheerleader?
CSR: Yeah.
Manager: What happened?

730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas

Overheard by: El Gee

Boss: Hey, can you make a calendar that looks like this? [Hands a paper to her.]Underling: Yeah. You know this is from [the other agency], right?
Boss: Yeah, the client likes it. We have to go with that.
Underling: But their calendar is a copy of the one I did for the client. The client just handed it to them, and they made all these little changes.
Boss: Yeah, just do it like that.
Underling: But I already did it. They only took my calendar and messed with it.
Boss: Just make it look like this one!
Underling: But it’s my calendar!
Boss: Just make it look like this one! [Boss stalks off.]Underling, to entire office: Am I in a Dilbert cartoon?

3rd Avenue
New York, New York

Boss: What the hell is this in my mouth? It’s not the butterscotch I expected, that’s for sure.

1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona

Overheard by: Chris Cardinal

Manager going to lunch with friend: Did you leave yet?!
Friend: Um, no.

360 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts

Office Manager: How do you spell “Useta”?
Co-worker: Use it in a sentence.
Office Manager: I “useta” drink Cokes; now I only drink water.
Co-worker: That is an Arkansas word.

1700 Westpark Drive
Little Rock, Arkansas