General Manager: I have an email problem, I need you to answer a question…Do I have to use all lowercase Ls here? Can’t I use 1s? They look like 1s.
IT: No! You have to use Ls! That is how e-mail works! It’s an address that you have to get right!
General Manager: It’s hard to tell if it is an L or a 1.
IT: Well yes, but from context clues, the email says, “Little Girl.”
General Manager: Well you know what they say about assuming. Makes an ass…you…me.
13601 FM 529 Road
Houston, Texas
Manager in meeting: We’ll hit that bridge when we come to it.
London
England
Boss: Just because I don’t wear my clothes to work doesn’t mean I don’t have them.
55 Elk Street
Albany, New York
Overheard by: clothed employee
Boss to assistant: Well, I don’t remember what all I had, um, asked you to do before I went on vacation, but did you, like, um, do it?
Non-profit agency
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: steeleskillz
Boss, reading through company e-mails: Can I talk to you about this e-mail you sent to a client?
Employee: Sure.
Boss: In this e-mail you started out with the word “yay”; when I read this it struck me as very unprofessional. You shouldn't use the word “yay” when speaking with our clients.
Employee: That doesn't say “yay, it says “yeah”. It's a response to a question the client had.
Boss: Y-e-a-h is “yay.” Let's not use it in e-mails in the future, okay?
Employee: Okay (then under breath as he walks away) Fucking moron!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Copier Technician: Sir, your software isn’t compatible with this machine. It’s outdated.
Offie Manager: Well, the sales guy promised it would work.
Copier Technician: Did you try it out before you bought it?
Office Manager: No, I trusted the sales guy that it would do what he said it would do.
Copier Technician: Well, this isn’t the first time you’ve dealt with a sales person, is it? When I make a significant purchase, I try it before I sign the contract.
Office Manager: How you ever going to get married, son?
Copier Technician: Sorry?
Office Manager: I said how you ever going to get married?
Copier Technician: I am married, sir.
Office Manager: Well, did you try out your wife before you got married?
Copier Technician: What?
310 Dorla Court
Zephyr Cove, Nevada
Development manager: … So then I told my wife that even if we raised our granddaughter she could still end up like her mother. I mean, she doesn’t have tattoos, but she does drugs and she’s a tramp.
IT analyst: Don’t call your daughter a tramp, that’s not nice!
Development manager: Why not? She sleeps with every Tom, Dick and Harry!
IT analyst: At least she has a social life.
1600 South 900 West
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Jealous
Manager: Don’t send information; it just confuses me.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
Boss: I don’t know why he’s so moody.
Employee: I know! I think he’s bipolar.
Boss: No, I don’t think he even likes the cold.
Imperial, Pennsylvania
Boss: How do I get a binder for this stuff?
Assistant: There’s one in the cabinet.
Boss: Um, how do I get the holes?
Assistant: What?
Boss: How do the holes get in the paper?
3080 Broadway
New York, New York
