Actually, I'm Fairly Certain He's Been Urinating on It

Female coworker #1: Ohmigod, my plant's dead…
Female coworker #2: I can't believe you whined and complained for months about how you didn't get a “new hire plant” like everyone else, and when you get one… a week later it's dead because you don't water it.
Female coworker #3: I heard all these plants are responsibility tests. If you kill the plant, you're gone.
Boss over intercom to coworker #1: Report to my office immediately.
Female coworker #2: He knows about the plant.
Female coworker #1: Fuck.

McKinney, Texas

Posted on December 15, 2009
Bosses, Coworkers, Death, Gripes, Insults, Office Politics, Texas

Tonight on 20/20

Female worker, at a work-sponsored pizza party: My older brother picked on me all the time. Play-fighting, just rough-housing, you know. He is deceased, now.
Insensitive female worker: Because she killed him!

San Francisco, California

Posted on November 24, 2009
California, Coworkers, Death, Family, Violence, Weirdness

So Will They Still Charge Him Vacation Time?

Coworker #1: Bill died this weekend.
Coworker #2: Really? I thought he was on vacation!

Trenton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Really?

Posted on November 24, 2009
Coworkers, Death, New Jersey, Vacation

Mind the Generation Gap

Employee #1: Otis Redding.
Employee #2: Otis Redding? Who's that?
Employee #3: Isnt' that the guy from Andy Griffith? The drunk guy?
Employee #1: No. Otis Redding sang that “Dock of the Bay” song. His dad shot and killed him.
Employee #2: No. That's Marvin Gaye.
Employee #1: Marvin Gaye? Who's that?

Van Buren, Arkansas

Posted on November 23, 2009
Arkansas, Death, Drinking, Employees, Family, General Idiocy, Music, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

Fighting the Battle Of the Alamo to the Very End

Reporter on phone: I'm calling about Davy Crockett. You don't know him? Didn't he attack you with a machete last week? Right. Well, he died. Yeah. You heard about that? Right. So you do know him.

Keene, New Hampshire

Posted on October 23, 2009
Death, Geography & History, New Hampshire, On the phone, Questions, Violence, Writers and Editors

Was I Supposed to Help You Bemoan Something Neither Of Us Cares About?

Coworker #1: There was a barn fire just outside of town. The whole barn was destroyed. The farmer was missing at first, but they found his remains in the barn. They are sending the remains to Toronto to figure out the cause of death.
Coworker #2: Burnt.
Coworker #1: Excuse me?
Coworker #2: Burnt.
Coworker #1: You are a sick fuck, know that?

Waterloo
Canadia

Overheard by: Meesh

Posted on October 15, 2009
Accidents, Canadia, Comebacks, Coworkers, Death, Insults

First-Time Poisoners Are Easy to Pick Out

Loud lady on phone: Hi, are you dead yet?

West Lafayette, Indiana

Overheard by: Rachel S.

Posted on October 14, 2009
Death, General Idiocy, Indiana, On the phone

Um, This Says “Died Of a Gunshot Wound to the Head”

Boss, just after coworker's mother died: Yeah, I have my mother's obituary all written already. I saved it in Word so it's all set and ready to go.

Bradford, Pennsylvania

Posted on October 9, 2009
Bosses, Coworkers, Death, Family, Pennsylvania, Technology, Weirdness

Disgrace Is an Alien Concept to Many Americans

IT guy #1: How do you get yourself $400,000 in debt?
IT guy #2: Yeah, and if you are that much in debt, why would you kill yourself?
IT guy #1: Yeah, just file for bankruptcy and wait for your Obama dollaz to come in.

Sparks, Maryland

Overheard by: Dial

Posted on September 17, 2009
Death, Maryland, Money, Politics, Questions, Tech People, Violence

Why I Only Date Russian Men

Suit: It's got a dead animal on the top, just the way I like it.

L'Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Guess he's not a vegan

Posted on July 30, 2009
Animals, Death, Default, Suits, Washington DC, Weirdness

Death