Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)
Los Angeles, California
Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)
Los Angeles, California
Accounting guy #1: Every big company is tired of printing paychecks.
Accounting guy #2: Tired of spending all that money.
Accounting guy #1: Tired of every 13 year old in the country being able to print those checks.
1600 Cantrell Road
Little Rock, Arkansas
Sales manager: What's that picture from?
R&D assistant: It's from our Christmas party.
Sales manager: I've never seen a fat Filipino hitman before.
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Cat
Maintenance guy: I’ll tell you. Back when I was in prison, at first, I couldn’t sleep because of all the noise. But I got so used to it that now I can’t sleep when it’s quiet.
Boss: When you were where?
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Need to call the Temp Agency
Guy #1: Tamiqua says there aren't any gang members working here.
Guy #2: Well, that's clearly not true.
Dallas, Texas
Co-worker #1: We should send out a memo about unsafe driving.
Boss: Was the unsafe driving on company property?
Co-worker #1: No.
Boss: Was the unsafe driving in a company vehicle?
Co-worker #1: No.
Co-worker #2: Then there’s nothing the company can do about it. I mean, I speed to work all of the time.
3 Alcan Highway
Kitimat, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nemisis
Coworker #1: Hey, listen to this: “2.3 million Americans are currently incarcerated.” That's about 1% of the population!
Coworker #2: What's that mean?
Coworker #1: In prison.
Coworker #1: Oh, I was thinking castrated…and I thought they only did that to animals.
Muscatine, Iowa
Coworker: I mean, don't you ever feel like killing someone and wearing their head like a hat?
Las Vegas, Nevada
