Coworker to another: “Capone” as in the gangster, or “Capone” like the country?
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Queen Report Monkey
Coworker to another: “Capone” as in the gangster, or “Capone” like the country?
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Queen Report Monkey
Older employee to younger employees: That's why I don't live in town. I would be in jail. They would say, “you can't have a beer out here” and “you can't be in the nude” no matter how hot it is in your tomato patch!
Roanoke, West Virginia
Customer: I have not ordered this product.
Service person: But we have a contract that you have signed.
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: I’m sorry?
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: Would you do it like a gentleman?
Potsdam, Germany
Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)
Los Angeles, California
Accounting guy #1: Every big company is tired of printing paychecks.
Accounting guy #2: Tired of spending all that money.
Accounting guy #1: Tired of every 13 year old in the country being able to print those checks.
1600 Cantrell Road
Little Rock, Arkansas
Sales manager: What's that picture from?
R&D assistant: It's from our Christmas party.
Sales manager: I've never seen a fat Filipino hitman before.
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Cat
Maintenance guy: I’ll tell you. Back when I was in prison, at first, I couldn’t sleep because of all the noise. But I got so used to it that now I can’t sleep when it’s quiet.
Boss: When you were where?
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Need to call the Temp Agency
Guy #1: Tamiqua says there aren't any gang members working here.
Guy #2: Well, that's clearly not true.
Dallas, Texas
Co-worker #1: We should send out a memo about unsafe driving.
Boss: Was the unsafe driving on company property?
Co-worker #1: No.
Boss: Was the unsafe driving in a company vehicle?
Co-worker #1: No.
Co-worker #2: Then there’s nothing the company can do about it. I mean, I speed to work all of the time.
3 Alcan Highway
Kitimat, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Nemisis
