Employee: She owed $1,000 for her electric bill and somehow paid it. I asked her how she pulled it off, and all she would say is “we have our ways.” I assume it was something illegal.
Supervisor: Well… How illegal are we talking here? If it's a felony, never mind; but if it's just misdemeanor stuff, maybe we can get other people on the wagon.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Should probably leave legal advice to the experts…
Worker #1 (singing): Invoices are making me want to kill myself!
Worker #2: The voices make you want to kill yourself?
Worker #1: No! *In*voices!
Worker #2: Phew!
Century City, California
Manager: We’re in Gwinnett County. You need to be 10 feet from the walkway if you want to legally smoke.
Smoker #1: Like, isn’t that unfair? What if you’re a midget? Your feet would be about half the size of mine…No, seriously. Look how big my feet are! They’re like twice the size of midget feet…Oh! You mean like a ruler!
Smoker #2: Yeah, haven’t you ever heard of the metric system?
333 Research Court
Norcross, Georgia
Cubicle dweller #1: Blood, blood, blood–I'm sick of reading about this stuff!
Cubicle dweller #2 (hyped up on coffee): Well, at least it's not fecal matter!
Nashville, Tennessee
Loud guy on cell: No way! Last time they didn’t charge me with a felony!
Blue Grass Airport
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Glad to be leaving the States
Co-worker: If I killed someone, he would totally lie to the police for me. Either he would be my alibi or he would lie and say he did it so I could be free.
225 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I Next
Coworker: Somebody’s getting arrested today, and it isn’t going to be me!
1218 Webster St.,
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Stacy Lewis
Male bartender: Where'd you park?
Female bartender: 12th and Albany.
Male bartender: So far away? Why do you want to be raped?
Los Angeles, California
Project manager, about interviewee: He's like Ted Bundy sexy!
Ada, Michigan
Overheard by: Just a temp
Woman on phone: Uhhuh… Well, we just have to learn how not to be child molesters.
Walnut Street
Evansville, Indiana
