Art director: Is it wrong that I saw something on the news about a triple homicide in Koreatown, now I’m craving Chinese food?
Los Angeles, California
Art director: Is it wrong that I saw something on the news about a triple homicide in Koreatown, now I’m craving Chinese food?
Los Angeles, California
Senior VP to peons: That's when they car was stoled. It's they fault. They leff the car in the ignition. Then they wonder why we callin them and taken all they danglin fruit off the tabow. You see what I'm sayin, people? That's us! We taken it off the table.
BAton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Redacted
Lawyer #1: So I finally got myself in front of a jury!
Lawyer #2: Really?
Lawyer #1: Yeah! It was a rape case.
Lawyer #2: That’s fantastic! Well, for you anyway.
Allegan St
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: o rly?
Peon to boss looking for the bigger boss: He is not there. He is murdering Mike*.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: has a will
Financial analyst: This might be a bad analogy, but it's like this: if there's a guy up on the roof of a house and he's throwing babies off, and you just barely catch the first couple of babies, it might mean that's not a very good strategy and what you really need to do is get someone to go up on the roof and get the guy down.
Coworker: You ever notice how whenever you start a sentence that way, a hush falls over the area?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: MPW
Tech #1: Is that illegal?
Tech #2: No, but it's unethical.
Tech #1: Okay, then let's do it.
Butler, Pennsylvania
News reporter #1: Why was he arrested?
News reporter #2: I guess he was suspicious-looking.
News reporter #1: Was he just going around arbitrarily replacing windshields?
Southern Maryland
Overheard by: Cubicle neighbor
Cubicle guy: Man, you wanna hear something funny? My dry cleaner got shot today. What am I gonna do? I got dry cleaning to pick up!
Cubicle gal: What? Oh my god! That's horrible!
Cubicle guy: I know. But what am I gonna do about my dry cleaning? I can't just go over there and say like, “hey, sorry he got shot, but can I get my dry cleaning?”
Cubicle gal: Yeah–that wouldn't be good. Maybe you could wait a couple of days and then go pick it up. Besides, if you go today you might become a suspect.
Cubicle guy: Yeah, that's what I'll do… Good thing it's not a suit I need for the weekend.
Manhattan, New York
