Coworkers

Unfortunately, the Stage Name ‘Mr. T’ Was Already Taken

Coworker #1: Is that green tea?
Coworker #2: Yeah.
Coworker #1: Is there such a thing as blue tea?
Coworker #2: I don’t think so.
Coworker #1: Maybe blueberry flavored would be blue. Is there blueberry tea? Blue tea would be crazy!
Coworker #2, shrugging: I’m not sure. There might be, but I’m not a tea expert.
Coworker #1: I am. I’m a tea connoisseur. I know all about tea. Well, the letter T. I know all about the letter T. I can write it in all kinds of ancient, archaic languages.
Coworker #2 [Blank stare.]

9785 Towne Centre Drive
San Diego, California

No, I Have a Plane Ticket and a Shovel

Lady #1: I’m saving myself for Mozart.
Lady #2: That’s going to be quite a wait, honey.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Overheard by: Sarah

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: You should say this word [unintelligible] next time you have a curry.
Co-worker #2: What does it mean?
Co-worker #1: Just say it, then get ready to run.
Co-worker #2: What language is it?
Co-worker #1: You know what they all speak. Muslim.

Shell Oil
Rig T/O S711
North Sea

Welcome to Our Company: Our Values are Now Yours

HR Guru: The only person you can change is yourself–
Infidel: I keep trying that, but she’s still being a bitch!

2025 E St, NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Bendystraw

I'm Not an Animal.

Woman in elevator lobby to man: Did you eat peanut butter?
Man: Peanut butter?
Woman: You smell like peanut butter.
Man: Um, I had some hazelnut coffee…
Woman: Oh! Hazelnut coffee!!
(elevator arrives, man gets on elevator, woman remains in lobby)
Man, muttering to self: Peanut butter? Peanut butter?

Los Angeles, California

Yeah, the Cardinal’s Vestments Totally Rocked

Cube girl: It was like Donald Trump in Hammer pants.

Stratford, Connecticut

That Poster of Paris Hilton Over Your Bed, for One Thing

Dude #1: Hey, thanks dude, you really didn’t have to.
Dude #2: Oh, that’s okay, man — no problem.
Dude #1: So, how did you know I liked princesses?

Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: lesley

Nope, Just Thought You Might Need Help Getting That Desk onto Your Truck

Assistant: Are you stealing things already?
Marketing rep: Are you saying that because I’m black?

9401 West Brown Deer Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: T

Plus, I'm a Girl.

Male coworker: Someone just called me “sir.”
Female coworker: What's wrong with that?
Male coworker: It's the same with “ma'am.” Once you are called “sir” you know you have lost all sexual appeal.

13th Street
Manhattan, New York

Well You Did Plan the Whole Funeral

Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it's fine, let's just use Wite-Out, he won't know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn't you read the card? Or look at it? It's blue, how's “white” out supposed to fix it?
Lance: What, it's always someone's birthday around here, since when do we do sympathy cards?
Peon #1: Since my grandma died and you wrote “Thanks for all your hard work.”

Arizona

Overheard by: Shocked in AZ

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