Office grunt: … So then I said, ‘Bill*, just throw a bunch of monkeys in a container and have them eat all the bananas.’
1111 Broadway
Oakland, California
Office grunt: … So then I said, ‘Bill*, just throw a bunch of monkeys in a container and have them eat all the bananas.’
1111 Broadway
Oakland, California
Man: It’s not my fault the guy was a fucking idiot… It may have been my fault that I told him, though.
New Street Station
Birmingham
United Kingdom
Overheard by: I would have told him, too
Coworker #1: So you saw her at church then, that is kinda cool.
Coworker #2: Yeah, because at least I know she isn't out getting gang-banged on a Sunday, which is nice.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Professor Awesome
Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?
117th St
Broomfield, Colorado
Overheard by: The other nerd
Male cubicle dweller #1: Tell you what, if you grow your hair shoulder-length, I'll braid it for you.
Male cubicle dweller #2: Deal!
Male cubicle dweller #1: Do you want me to sign a post-it or something… like a contract?
Male cubicle dweller #2: No, I trust you.
Laurier
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: They had no idea I was here
Coworker: Would you like some tomato sauce with that muffin?
Customer: (blank look)
Coworker: Ah, shit.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Alaska
Worker lady: This year is my last birthday.
Post office, 10 Atlantic Street
Newark, New Jersey
Director: Hey, you got a tape measure?
Ops Coordinator: What do you need a tape measure for?
3 Nationwide Plaza
Columbus, Ohio
Female staffer #1: Yeah, we need to get us a gas-powered hedge trimmer.
Male staffer: Yeah, we have an electric, but it’s battery-operated. And the battery only lasts about ten minutes, so it’s like Extreme Speed Trimming. We have to get to that bush fast before the battery runs out.
Female staffer #2: Are y’all talking about vibrators?
Male staffer: Uh, well, sort of, except this one has teeth that chop long skinny things in half.
Female staffer #2: Oooh, kinky! Where’d you get it?
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
