Coworker #1: We have a woman janitor now. Things have been awkward to say the least.
Coworker #2: Well, you can't discriminate, though. Women janitors need to work too.
Coworker #1: Nothing like having her walk in on you while you are standing at the urinal…or taking a poop and hear somebody walk in and then walk out. And then when you exit the restroom, she is waiting outside the door with rubber gloves and a can of Lysol.
Fairmont, West Virginia
Ultra white female peon: Yo, dat Sea World pen is the shit!
Ultra white male peon: What, thisse one?
Ultra white female peon: Nah, man… The Sea World pen! It's da bomb!
Ultra white male peon: Naw, somebody ganked mine!
Conference Way North, Boca Raton FL
Overheard by: Straight Trippin, Boo
Fat, braless, tattooed, redneck biker-looking kitchen worker: I oughta sue her for defecating my character–talking about me like that!
Incredulous co-worker: Ummm…do you mean defaming?
Fat, braless, tattooed, redneck biker-looking kitchen worker: Yeah…whatever.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: donna
Frantic coworker on telephone: What's the status of Ron's wig?!
Tidewater, Virginia
Girl peon#1: I don't think it's safe to transport raccoons in your car, even if they are in a booster seat.
Girl peon#2: A booster seat is always the exception to the rule.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Coworker: If Joe Biden rapped, I would totally listen to him all day.
New York City, New York
Coworker #1: Why does the copy machine keep printing out pages with lines on them?
Coworker #2: Because your original is on lined notebook paper.
Bloomington, Indiana
Female coworker: Why does my box have hair all over it?
Frat dude turned suit coworker: Dude, that was awesome!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Courtney
Office bimbo #1, at an office potluck: Well, I knew she would like my buns better than John's. His buns are all squishy and white, mine have seeds and nuts in them.
Office bimbo #2: Well, I am glad she just kept her hands off of my buns.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Monitor of the Bore-atorium
Cube dweller #1: Aw, man, you totally stole my favorite bowl! And I got that from the third floor kitchen and everything. Now I'll have to go all the way down there get a new one.
Cube dweller #2: Make sure there's enough room for your tears.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
