Janitor to another, from inside men's restroom: What you need to do is get down in there and scrub. Scrub-a-dub-dub. Like the men in the tub. Scrub. A dub. Dub.
5th Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: EmLo
Janitor to another, from inside men's restroom: What you need to do is get down in there and scrub. Scrub-a-dub-dub. Like the men in the tub. Scrub. A dub. Dub.
5th Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: EmLo
Peon #1: So, I finally got my new car–it's a Scion.
Peon #2: Oh yeah, dude, you like?
Peon #1: Yeah, it's sweet. It's a standard.
Peon #2: Why?
Peon #1: Well, my brother only has one arm, so this way he can't borrow my car.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Office lady #1: At the bar my sister works at, they put jello shots in a syringe so you can just squeeze it back.
Office lady #2: Oh no, I like to feel it all over.
Pearl Street
Austin, Texas
Female coworker: I kinda like the idea that I once was a sperm.
Willow Lawn
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Stacy
Male coworker to female coworker: Did you get your legs waxed? Geez, your legs are so shiny I can see my face in them.
Orlando, Florida
Librarian #1: I don't want to call my mother. She's just going to tell me that I need to lose weight.
Librarian #2: You are fine. You do not need to lose weight. As long as you can still walk without a cane, you don't need to lose weight. That's what I tell my doctor when he tells me to lose weight.
Stillwater, Oklahoma
Coworker to coworker: I am tired of carrying you. It seems you get heavier every year.
New York City, New York
Coworker: Hey, what's that on your pants?
Pocket Hercules: Oh, this? It's just a little protein shake.
Coworker: What?
Pocket Hercules: Wait, that didn't sound right!
Bloomington, Minnesota
Girl #1: It is cold in here.
Girl #2: Well, then wear a sweater.
Girl #3: Can you please turn it down? My ovaries are starting to freeze!
Stony Brook University Medical Center
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: laura d
Male coworker: Wait! What's that word mean?
Female coworker: What? “Fellatio”?
Male coworker: Yeah, that.
Female coworker: Oh, jeez. It means “oral sex.”
Male coworker: Ohhhh. Hey, Susanna*, can I fellatio you?
Derry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: TacoSlinger
