Worker: So last night I got the '08 Altima I was telling you about. It's got the continuously variable transmission, so when you accelerate it doesn't have to downshift for power.
Coworker: Cool! What color is it?
Worker: Black on black.
Coworker: Just like inner city crime!
Omaha, Nebraska
Drone #1: I had a really disturbing dream last night.
Drone #2: What was your dream?
Drone #1: I dreamed that my grandmother cut off my cat's head and was eating his body.
Drone #2: Oh my god! What were you watching last night before you fell asleep?
Drone #1: The Republican National Convention.
56th & Madison
New York City, New York
Overheard by: the8ball
Peon #1, seeing ambulance and EMTs in warehouse: What's going on?
Peon #2: Michael's* having a heart attack.
Peon #1: Let's go smoke a cigarette, no one will notice!
Laporte, Indiana
Overheard by: and yes, he lost his job
Employee #1: Is this your office in there?
Employee #2: It's my Petri dish.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: another bacterium
Male coworker: So, I met my brother's married Russian fiancee over the weekend…
Female coworker: Those four words should never be in the same sentence!
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: KDog
Lady coworker to male coworker: Did you order the cleaning clit?
Elyria, Ohio
Overheard by: sarah
Cube girl #1: I am so excited! The Olympics start tonight and I love them!
Cube girl #2: Yeah they're pretty cool.
Cube girl #1: Cool?! I watch them every year!
Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jessica B.
Coworker: It smells like really strong pot in here! (lifts his shirt up to his nose, sniffing) And it's not me!
Aspen Business Center
Aspen, Colorado
Female coworker to male coworker: I'm going to punch you in the ovaries!
Hamilton
Ontario
Canadia
Coworker, talking about spam filter: I used to get penis all the time, now…not so much.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
