Employee #1, realizing Kevin Costner's Swing Vote billboard was being taken down: Thank god I don't have to look at his big head any more!
Employee #2: Yeah…it was kinda creepy.
Los Angeles, California
Employee #1, realizing Kevin Costner's Swing Vote billboard was being taken down: Thank god I don't have to look at his big head any more!
Employee #2: Yeah…it was kinda creepy.
Los Angeles, California
Lackey #1, holding paper trimmer: Hey, why don't you put your hand in here?
Lackey #2: Why would I want to put my hand anywhere your dick has been?
Western Australia
Coworker: Did you watch The Office last night?
Temp: No, I was reading.
Coworker: Well, buddy, you’re working XYZ* Cable now. You better catch up so you know what we’re talking about.
Temp: I’m a temp, I’m done this week anyway.
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Sixtwentysix
Cubicle-dweller to another: If we could get Mr. T here at the office, that changes everything.
Los Angeles, California
Coworker #1: I really like the new guy. He's refreshing. It's like he's not tainted.
Coworker #2: You mean he has no taint?
Burlington, Vermont
Cube rat #1: Hey, does it smell like poop over here?
Cube rat #2: What?
Cube rat #1: I farted — it smells bad over here.
Cube rat #2: That’s so gross, dude!
Cube rat #1: I have too much work to do! I don’t have time to go to the bathroom!
Cube rat #2: Go to the bathroom!
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Peon: I don’t know… It just seems like kind of a waste of Jell-O.
1 Athenaeum Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Coworker who quit smoking four days ago: You know what? I'm to that point now, where I'm starting to cough shit up. I mean, I know it's nasty, but you look in the sink and you say to yourself, “cool…that's not in me anymore!”
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Ashley
Female coworker #1: Is that a cucumber you just pulled out of your desk drawer?
Female coworker #2: Yeah, Connie gave it to me yesterday. So watch out: today is “beat people with a cucumber day”, so if you piss me off I'm gonna hit you with my cucumber.
Female coworker #1: Wait… Why did Connie give you a cucumber?
Female coworker #2: She had it at her desk yesterday and was having some fun with it. Then she got tired of it, so she gave it to me.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: WD40
Office mole #1: Guess who's not coming to your birthday?
Office mole #2: Jesus Christ?
Parksville
Canadia
Overheard by: Unfortunate bystander
