Lady peon #1: Are you going to participate in Lou’s retirement party?
Lady peon #2: Yes — I’m going to jump out of the cake.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The Quotable Cubicle
Lady peon #1: Are you going to participate in Lou’s retirement party?
Lady peon #2: Yes — I’m going to jump out of the cake.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The Quotable Cubicle
Worker bee #1: Five second rule!
Worker bee #2: I’m from India. I can digest toxic waste!
D’Onofrio Drive
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Minx
Flamboyant male coworker to female coworker: Can I borrow your cream?
Female co-worker: (stunned silence)
Flamboyant male coworker: Er! Cream-er!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: liz
Coworker to another: I still live at home with my mom and dad; and I have no reproductive opportunities whatsoever.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: travisperiod
Office girl #1: Man, I’m really bored. I know what we should do… [Looks around] Aw, we don’t have any glue, do we?
Office girl #2, confused and horrified: Um…
610 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Supervisor: I smelled bad today so I sprayed myself with a lot of deodorant.
Co-worker: You know what we call doing that back home?
Supervisor: Normal?
3350 Pine Avenue
Long Beach, California
Pregnant coworker: Do you see this? I’m writing my name on the milk container so she won’t drink out of it! I should probably label it “breast milk”.
Male coworker: That might not stop her.
Huntington, New York
Coworker #1: So, good weekend?
Coworker #2: I’m kinda beat. I was on my knees, hoeing all weekend.
Coworker #1: Ummm….Excuse me?
Coworker #2: Oh. That didn’t come out right. Maybe I should’ve just said ‘gardening.’
21500 Haggerty Road
Northville, Michigan
Suit #1: Oh, fucking great. This is how– [Jon] is getting married. And I have to sign this stupid card along with everyone else like–
Suit #2: Wow, hostile much? We barely know him.
Suit #1: Oh, I know his fiancee quite…ugh, never mind.
71 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Intern hears all
Partner #1: So, I explained to her that I didn’t feel that commercial sexual relationships constituted adultery. And she bought it.
Partner #2: Gotta love the commerce clause.
575 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
