Cute office peon: What’s wrong, Tom*?
Tom: I’m just feeling a little depressed today.
Cute office peon: Why?
Tom: I had planned this party over the weekend, and no one showed up.
Cute office peon: Don’t feel bad about that, Tom. It’s not your fault that your friends can’t come!
5500 University Parkway
San Bernardino, California
Overheard by: And she knows this how?
Worker #1: He has a groin pull so he’s asking for pain pills .
Worker #2: He told me he hurt his leg.
Consultant: Yeah, my third leg. I’m a tripod.
Worker #1: A tripod wouldn’t have hurt himself playing basketball with a 50 or under league.
100 Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Regina C
Lady in elevator: Well, I operated on my eye again. I looked in the mirror and saw another big white thing so I got the needle and the lighter. This time it went pop and all the stuff went into my eye. I was thinking: “Now I’ll get staph!”
Century Place
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: delworthio
Coworker to boss: Poor Karen, I felt so sorry for her. She was so tiny, and she was doing six or seven at a time.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: spice
Male coworker: You're not a girl.
Female coworker: I'm feminine!
Male: You're feminine, but you're not a girl. You're not into all that girly shit.
Manhattan, New York
20-ish peon #1: I have to go and see my sister and her new baby.
20-ish peon #2: You’ll come back smelling like babies. I love that smell.
20-ish peon #3: They smell like uterus.
Parliament Place
West Perth
Australia
Coworker #1 on speakerphone: How do I Google something?
Coworker #2: Go to W-W-W dot Google dot com. Then just use it like any other search engine.
Coworker #1: What’s a search engine?
Coworker #2: You know, like when you use Yahoo or MSN to look something up.
Coworker #1: I’ve never Googled before in my life, and I never want to again!
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: it actually got worse
Co-worker #1: I just got this great book you should read. It’s got
everything you always wanted to know about sex. It’s got pictures and
positions and everything.
Co-worker #2: Books are for amateurs. When it comes to sex I’m a pro.
1215 2nd Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Coworker: So then he came home with all these bags of groceries, all proud, and after he got them all put away, I was like, ‘That’s not groceries! That’s meat and a pineapple!’
1450 Energy Park Drive
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: JoJo
Older gent doing crossword: What's a five letter word for “Stem with a bow?”
Secretary: That's “Stern with a bow”.
Older gent: So it's not “stem”? That doesn't make sense. I'm putting in “Oleo”.
State Office
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
