They Were Gangbanging Me That Night

Cute office peon: What’s wrong, Tom*?
Tom: I’m just feeling a little depressed today.
Cute office peon: Why?
Tom: I had planned this party over the weekend, and no one showed up.
Cute office peon: Don’t feel bad about that, Tom. It’s not your fault that your friends can’t come!

5500 University Parkway
San Bernardino, California

Overheard by: And she knows this how?