Becky*: Sometimes, when I’m sick, I think, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ And then I remember, ‘Oh, yeah — ass to mouth.’
830 W Warner Road
Gilbert, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Becky*: Sometimes, when I’m sick, I think, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ And then I remember, ‘Oh, yeah — ass to mouth.’
830 W Warner Road
Gilbert, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Eager coworker: I took a candy bar from you yesterday, but I didn’t have a dollar. And I want to take one again today.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Co-worker #1: Ooh, that smells nice.
Co-worker #2: It’s salami. I got it in Czechoslovakia.
Co-worker #1: I didn’t know the Czechs were famous for salami.
Co-worker #2: They’re not. It’s Hungarian salami.
7520 Astoria Boulevard
Jackson Heights, New York
IT guy: Your laptop is not booting up because you have a stuck function key. What happened, anyway?
Rep (refusing to make eye contact): Yeah, I … uhhh, think I dropped something on it.
It guy: Like what?!
Rep: Ummm yeah, well, like my fist.
Fern Valley Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Associate: What’s up, Dave*? Did you get a promotion?
Managing director at secretary’s desk: No, I just hate the person I’ve become when I’m in my office.
452 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Radio: ‘So if your life has been touched by alcohol or substance abuse…’
Construction guy: That’s me!
125th Street and Lenox Avenue
New York, New York
Office worker #1: Oh, the weather outside is frightful—
Office worker #2: So is your damn singing.
1501 Georgia Avenue
Wheaton, Maryland
Trader #1, wearing yarmulke: …and your business is in Brooklyn?
Trader #2: No, Brooklyn is where the yams hang out. You know, your people.
200 Vesey Street
New York, New York
Coworker to another, attempting to fix jam in the copier: I swear, Ed, you get more done with your mouth than you do your hands!
Seattle, Washington
Voice #1, on other side of the wall: You know, the one with the heroin thing and double-ended dildo!
(silence)
Voice #2: Are we still talking about movies?
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Amanda
