Female pharmacist to female coworker: I get all my pants in New Jersey.
Coworker: Okay… That's good to know. I won't ask you about your pants anymore.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Female pharmacist to female coworker: I get all my pants in New Jersey.
Coworker: Okay… That's good to know. I won't ask you about your pants anymore.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Coworker #1: I would have been up all night with my shotgun.
Coworker #2: Why? The cops already had the perpetrator.
Coworker #1: Whatever, you’re just saying that because he was black… otherwise he would have just been a suspect.
Coworker #2: Ummm, the guy was white. I never said he was black. All I said was he wasn’t wearing shoes.
Pacific Drive
Lexington Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Perpetrators
Employee #1: What the fuck. This sandwich is impossible.
Employee #2: It looks like a big, gaping vagina.
Employee #1: It’s like eating out a big vagina. Look! Chunks are falling off!
Employee #2: Your sandwich has an STD! Like hooker poon.
Employee #3, holding identical sandwich missing a single bite: Well, looks like I’m done. If anyone wants my dirty vagina sandwich you’re welcome to it. Thanks for the lunch convo.
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kathryn
Co-worker: This report is bullshit.
Boss: Did you just say “bullshit”? I thought you folks weren’t allowed to swear?
Co-worker: I didn’t swear.
Boss: Yeah you did, no big deal. I don’t want your turban to unfurl.
1 Technology Drive
Milpitas, California
Office girl: Yeah, so I couldn't keep my dog anymore, so my dad got rid of it.
Office guy: Really? Oh–did he get rid of it the bad way?
Office girl: He didn't eat it!
Office guy (shocked): Um… That's really not what I meant, but okay…
Toronto
Canadia
Worker bee: Well, there were enzymes in the ham costume…
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: busy like a bee
Co-worker #1: I do things my way because that’s what works best for me.
Co-worker #2: Huh?
1 Embarcadero Center
San Francisco, California
Woman in lift, noticing man cleaning doors: I can’t believe they clean a fucking elevator shaft, but it takes them a week to clean dried-up vomit in the foyer!
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Admin
New guy: What is everyone having to drink?
Older employee, trying to sound sophisticated: I think I'm going to go with a red wine. I heard the Merlot was good. I consider myself somewhat of a connoissaurus.
Office Retreat
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: I didn't hire her.
Telemarketing guy in retirement plan department, slamming down phone: She’s in 401(K) heat! Ugh!
1445 120th Avenue
Bellevue, Washington
