3PM Coffee Break

Payroll: Have you been outside today? It’s getting really warm!
Employee: Yes, I magically teleported here this morning without ever stepping outside.

22342 Avenida Empresa
Rancho Santa Margarita, California

Posted on January 19, 2018
California, Coworkers, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy

At the Urban Legend Semifinals

Assistant #1: Did you know that one of the ingredients in gum is coyote urine?
Assistant #2: Did you know that there’s something in cat urine that causes schizophrenia?

Buckhead Loop
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on January 17, 2018
Coworkers, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Georgia, Gossip, Questions

Oh, Go Ahead — I Need to Lose Some Weight, Anyway

Black woman: Cecil* has this giant boil on his back and he got this idea about using the vacuum cleaner…
White woman: Stop! I’m eating lunch here. No stories about boils.
Black woman: Would a story about Cecil’s idea about constipation and a vacuum cleaner be alright?

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Posted on January 16, 2018
Coworkers, Gossip, Mississippi

And Ugly, Clueless Children

Coworker: If you do it brainless, you end up with crappy data.

Sacramento, California

Posted on January 13, 2018
Advice, California, Coworkers, General Idiocy

Is This True in Your Office? Discuss.

Coworker at bar: Shit, a degree doesn't mean anything! I'm dumber than a box of rocks and I have a degree!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on January 12, 2018
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Education, General Idiocy, Indiana, The Cafe

This Would've Been a Good Seinfeld Episode

Cubicle guy: Man, you wanna hear something funny? My dry cleaner got shot today. What am I gonna do? I got dry cleaning to pick up!
Cubicle gal: What? Oh my god! That's horrible!
Cubicle guy: I know. But what am I gonna do about my dry cleaning? I can't just go over there and say like, “hey, sorry he got shot, but can I get my dry cleaning?”
Cubicle gal: Yeah–that wouldn't be good. Maybe you could wait a couple of days and then go pick it up. Besides, if you go today you might become a suspect.
Cubicle guy: Yeah, that's what I'll do… Good thing it's not a suit I need for the weekend.

Manhattan, New York