Loud guy from corner cubicle: You will just never believe this, I am the heaviest I have been in my entire life. That's what working here for ten years will do to you.
Quiet woman who shares cubicle: Well, at least you know you won't blow away.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: not that heavy
Guy #1: What has been happening lately, you’re coming to work earlier and earlier.
Guy #2: No, I’m not.
Guy #1: Hmmm…then maybe it’s me that’s coming in later.
Place Jean-Paul Riopelle
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia
Office guy: The spread is great! What are these? (points at mini cream puffs)
Office girl: I don't know, just try one.
Office guy: Um, okay.
Office girl, after popping one in her mouth: Ohmigod! I just had a squirt of awesomeness in my mouth!
Coral Gables, Florida
Overheard by: Dianna Plasencia
Female coworker, looking out the window: Aw, look at the little kids, they're so cute!
Male coworker: I hate kids.
Female coworker: Why?
Male coworker: They're just too small to be natural…
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Idris
Coworker on the phone: Once I stabbed myself in the leg with a knife, and my husband made me a BLT sandwich.
Butler, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Benjamin
Young female coworker #1: Oh, so I guess there's a criminal on the loose in Arlington Heights.
Older female coworker: Better not leave any little dogs out.
Young female coworker #2: What?
Young female coworker #1: Oh, he might take 'em. He even looks like a criminal.
Older female coworker: Wait, you said “cougar,” right?
Young female coworker #2: Why would a cougar want a little dog?
Young female coworker #1: I said “criminal”!
Young female coworker #2: Oh, you mean the animal, not a woman!
(they laugh)
Young female coworker #1: Wow, that was the most misinterpreted conversation ever!
Older female coworker: Three way!!
Young female coworker #1: Again… Wow!
Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois
Overheard by: Dying in a Cubicle
Female coworker #1: So I bought this Tupperware to help wildlife. It comes in different colors and designs. This one has dolphins, and one of the others has monkeys on it.
Female coworker #2, mockingly: You are so fucking queer.
Female coworker #1, shouting: I'll show you fucking queer!
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: Shocked & Awed
Editor: Did he use the word ‘genitalia’ at all?
Older editor: Or ‘goodies’?
20-something female reporter: It’s such a Latin-sounding word.
Older editor: I know, ‘goodies’ really is.
20-something female reporter: Genitalia. It’s such a beautiful word. It just rolls right off the tongue.
Newsroom, Main Street
Cortland, New York
Overheard by: Quietly Working at My Desk
Dude: All my meth addict friends are like, ‘That’s so cool. You have a job.’
Portland, Oregon
Analyst #1: I pooped next to the CEO today.
Analyst #2: Like, in his office?
1 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Paul
