Dude, That’s My Desk

Bitter intern to cheerful intern: Jeez, stop being so motivated and shit. The only thing I’m actively doing today is refraining from eating magic mushrooms at my desk.

Rockefeller Plaza
New York City, New York

Posted on October 6, 2018
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Interns & Temps, New York, Offers and requests, Substance Use & Abuse

And I Have Sworn Statements Attesting to That Fact

Office grunt: I do have a great divide!

9350 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California

Overheard by: lonecomic

Posted on October 5, 2018
Body Parts, California and Northwest, Coworkers, Default, Words

And Arbor Day in Your Toilet

30-something girl to male co-worker: It’s always Christmas in your trash can.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Angela

Posted on October 3, 2018
Coworkers, Default, Holidays, Missouri, Weirdness

Then It's a Great Analogy

Financial analyst: This might be a bad analogy, but it's like this: if there's a guy up on the roof of a house and he's throwing babies off, and you just barely catch the first couple of babies, it might mean that's not a very good strategy and what you really need to do is get someone to go up on the roof and get the guy down.
Coworker: You ever notice how whenever you start a sentence that way, a hush falls over the area?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: MPW

Posted on October 2, 2018
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Crimes, Financial Folk, New York, Violence

Slowly, but Nevertheless

Worker: Bower birds are cool — they’ve got it going on. Cassowaries are cool, too. They can eat a dog.

Leederville
Perth
Western Australia

Overheard by: Going on holidays

Posted on September 30, 2018
Australia, Coworkers, Gossip

4PM Order Crystal Ball

Department Head: I need everyone to let me know a day ahead if they want to use the car and that means whether or not you’ll be late because of traffic.
Worker: But how will we know we are stuck in traffic until we are actually stuck?
Department Head: That’s why I need to know a day ahead of time whether you’ll be late because of traffic.

626 Coronado Terrace
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: james Landry

Posted on September 30, 2018
California, Coworkers, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy

From the People Who Brought You NYPD Shoe…

Coworker, examining scratched up phone: Life is rough in my pocket.

Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on September 26, 2018
Canadia, Coworkers, On the phone, Technology, Violence

2PM Mail Card

Writer: The stupid mailroom is like the Gestapo now. They won’t mail this greeting card for me. Can you give me a stamp?
Designer: I guess so. I can get one at lunch for you.
Writer: Okay. Thanks. I’ll give you thirty-five cents for it.
Designer: Thirty-seven cents.
Writer: You’re charging a two-cent fee for a stamp? You’re worse than the damn mail room.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Miel