Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Melville, New York
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Melville, New York
Co-worker #1: Hey, are your balls getting hot?
Co-worker #2: Quite.
Co-worker #1: I hear a hot laptop kills your sperm.
Co-worker #2: I’m all for it. I smoke the seeds, too.
1759 T Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Brendan B
Suit to a group of coworkers who just crowded into elevator: Do you think we’ll get to talk about Matt’s nuggets at this morning’s meeting?
SoMa
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Green
Coworker on phone: Ma'am, are you an owner with Melvin? I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. Again, ma'am, I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. We didn't even book your vaca…okay, fine. Tell me your little story.
Redmond, Washington
Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.
Broadway & 42nd
New York City, New York
Co-worker #1: [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Bless you
Co-worker #1: Thank you. [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Bless you
Co-worker #1: Thank you. [Sneeze]
Co-worker #2: Stop that!
Co-worker #1: Thank you.
1065 Williams Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Receptionist: Why would he think he could do that? Why would he think I’d be interested?
Coworker: I don’t know. Did you give him some kind of sign?
Receptionist: What? Because I was nice?! I’m nice to every one-legged hooker with an eyepatch who comes in here!
East Osborn
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: It Happens Every Day
Mailroom girl #1: Ugh! No speaking in French while I’m counting mail!
Mailroom girl #2: Sweet Jesus, every day there’s a new rule!
Ft. Lowell and Alvernon
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: dances with wolverines
Co-worker on the phone: Really? And he had six donkeys?
1400 Lacey Boulevard
Hanford, California
Overheard by: suzanne
Coworker #1: I can’t believe he sells drugs. He just doesn’t look the type.
Coworker #2: He works in procurement. He’s probably really good at it.
Park Road
Milton, Queensland
Australia
