Guy talking on cellphone while sending a fax: My wife tells me men don’t multi-task very well, and I guess I’m proving her… Well.
Seaway Boulevard
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: in my cube
Guy talking on cellphone while sending a fax: My wife tells me men don’t multi-task very well, and I guess I’m proving her… Well.
Seaway Boulevard
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: in my cube
Cashier #1, trying to unlock a drawer at the front desk: I… Can’t… Get… The key… To work.
Cashier #2, who recently found out he got his booty-call pregnant: You have to jiggle it, and then pull it out.
Cashier #1, laughing: Cause that has worked so well for you in the past.
Grocery Store
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Loves It!!
Interested boss: Do they even wear make-up in Albuquerque?
Olive Street
Santa Barbara, California
Interviewee, upon learning that interviewer is an amateur musician: Well, it seems like you have a nice voice… Very Tom Waits-y.
Interviewer: I have a cold.
W 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Law school student: I should have been a porn star.
Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Client: How bad? Are we talking about just paying the three million, or are we talking penalties bad?
Accountant: We’re talking jail bad.
Broward Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Male federal employee: I loved those old Startac phones because all they were was a phone. They didn’t take pictures. They didn’t predict your ovulation cycle. They just took calls!
Independence Avenue
Washington, DC
Sales rep: Mmmm… This is good. What is this? Harry and David. Oh… So it’s that kind of thing. No, I think they’re brothers, actually.
Forsyth Road
Macon, Georgia
Coworker #1: He couldn’t get it up?
Coworker #2: No, he couldn’t get hard.
Coworker #1: Wow, I can at least get hard.
Coworker #2: It was his first shoot. They gave him Viagra and energy drinks and the girl sucked and rubbed him for an hour but he couldn’t get hard. Then the director fired him and asked if anyone if could keep it hard for two hours.
Coworker #1: Did you volunteer?
Coworker #2: No, I can stay hard for an hour but not two. But a cameraman did. I felt bad for the girl, she was just 18 and it was her first shoot and the cameraman was like 60.
Coworker #1: Damn. I wish I hadn’t called in sick.
Porn Shoot
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: she was ugly
Manager of consultant team: Okay everyone, we’re going into the office tomorrow.
Consultant: Aw man, that means we have to wear real clothes!
Mount Laurel, New Jersey
Overheard by: I hate that
