Cube rat, opening a personal package received at work: This is more fun than a new bar of soap!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: I like soap too
Cube rat, opening a personal package received at work: This is more fun than a new bar of soap!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: I like soap too
Paralegal to secretary: He just gave me the finger!
Secretary: What?
Lawyer: I did it creatively.
Secretary: I'm pretty sure that makes you the worst boss ever.
Lawyer: But she was annoying me!
Tall Building
Small City, Indiana
Overheard by: Does someone need a time out?
Female marketing manager on phone: That was the best meeting we've had since I've been here. It felt like sex! When it was finished I wanted to smoke a cigarette and drink some scotch.
Technology Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: Do you want this document spf-ed?
Coworker #2: Do mean pdf-ed?
Coworker #1: Yeah, why, what did I say?
Coworker #2: Sfp.
Ellicott City, Maryland
Work bee #1: Do you get paid more because you speak two languages?
Work bee #2: No. I should, right? One would think…
Work bee #1: Yeah, seriously, speaking two languages is like having an extra toe, it makes you stand out.
Shelton, Connecticut
E-consultant, explaining website program to potential customer: It’s clear as night!
Smithtown Bypass
Smithtown, New York
State rep #1: What's up?
State rep #2: Living the dream!
State rep #2: It's actually more nightmarish.
Columbus, Ohio
Adviser: Okay, is everyone here? Great. So, John*, why don't you tell us what you've worked on this week?
John: Well, I did…
Adviser, interrupting: Actually, John, I'm just going to hummer you for a minute while I show them the data.
Female grad student: Um, what?
Adviser: I'm going to hummer him and just show everyone this, you know, like run over him like a big fucking car.
Female grad student: Uh, okay, but you can't say that.
Adviser: What? Why?
Female grad student: I'll tell you after lab meeting.
Adviser, angrily: What is so bad about saying that? Is it like mean or something to “hummer” someone?
Female grad student: Well it's not mean, it's just… Yeah, don't say that. Ever. We'll talk later.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Annoying coworker to office gossip: I don't know what rubber nuts have to do with Pennsylvania, anyway.
Columbia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Damn Ya-Ya's
Authoritative man in cafeteria line: Hm. I love twice-baked potatoes.
Man behind him: Aren't twice-baked potatoes the same as mashed potatoes?
Authoritative man in cafeteria line: The difference is that twice-baked potatoes are baked twice.
Swanton, Ohio
Overheard by: Boehmhemian
