Cube rat, talking about upcoming office picnic: I dunno man, I've always preferred a traditional keg stand.
New Jersey
Overheard by: looking forward to the festivities
Cube rat, talking about upcoming office picnic: I dunno man, I've always preferred a traditional keg stand.
New Jersey
Overheard by: looking forward to the festivities
Old lady to husband: She's about 85 years old, ya know? She dresses like a teenager, but she's real small… and perky.
Hotel Lobby
Michigan
Blonde office bee: How's the apartment hunt going?
Brunette office bee: Not great. You know how stressful it is when you've reached the point where you absolutely have to find something?
Blonde office bee: Definitely. That's how I was the day that we went to Moncton and it wasn't until we went to the last store that I found a decent pair of black shoes.
Brunette office bee: Yeah… You've got it alright.
Prince Edward Island
Canadia
Overheard by: Confounded
Thuggette: I don't know what a penis is for. I don't even know how to put a condom on. All you need to know is to put it in, take it out, wash it off, and go to sleep. It's a mushroom. A long-ass stink mushroom. Shit.
Washington, DC
Angry suit on cell: Get me the money or I take your ass to court. I’ll take your ass to court.
Barista: Ummm… sir? Can I get you something to drink?
Angry suit on cell: Yes, I’d like a triple mocha. [To cell.] I mean it. I’ll sue your ass, you greedy, lying Italian bastard.
Barista: Sir, would you like whipped cream on your mocha?
Angry suit on cell: Like hell you’ll get me the money by June. You were supposed to give it to me back in September. [To barista.] Extra whipped cream, thanks.
W Washington St
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Store manager: Someone smells like a hamster!
Startled employee: What?
Store manager, sniffing startled employee: It's you! You smell like a hamster!
Startled employee: I don't own a hamster.
Toy Store
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Overheard by: Startled Customer
Receptionist to coworker: Bagels can absorb alcohol just as easily as eggs and sausage!
Manhattan, New York
Boss: You look nice today.
Employee: Thanks, I wore a bra.
Bystander: Wait, what?
Employee, demonstrating: See… Look, the girls are free and easy today. They can do cirles too. Too bad I don’t have any tassles.
Elm Street
Coalinga, California
Overheard by: Still losing the TMI Olympics
Boss to coworker: “Booger” is a good word. So is “butthole.” That one makes me laugh.
Ojai, California
Supervisor to manager: You know I’m leaving work early today, right?
Manager: That’s right… For what, again?
Supervisor: I’m getting my cat shaved.
(pause)
Supervisor: My cat… like, our pet cat. A feline.
Ambassador East Hotel
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: laughing one cubicle over
