You Can't Run and You Can't Hide, Guys

Consultant: Menopause is not a one-day thing!

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: M@

Posted on November 17, 2014
Canadia, Consultants, Health & Hygiene, Time Management

Wait– What's Wrong with a Handjob During Golden Girls?

Supervisor (in a sing-song voice): Sex with Steven is more boring than church.
Employee #1: (humming along)
Supervisor: Sex with Steven is like…a handjob during Golden Girls.
Employee #1: Sex with Steven is like getting off on a baby carrot.
Employee #2: A baby pickle.
Employee #1: Whatever. Sex with Steven is…like an orgy with old people.
(pause)
Supervisor : You took it too far.

Hamilton
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: some girl.

Posted on November 17, 2014
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Insults, Sexuality

Sorry, I Think Abbott and Costello Have Done This to Death

Worker #1: Is the city of Singapore in China?
Worker #2: No, it’s in Singapore.
Worker #1: No, I meant where is Singapore?! Is it in China?!
Worker #2: Singapore is a city and a country.
Worker #1, after a long pause: Oh. So… where is Singapore, then?

Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on November 9, 2014
Canadia, Dumb Employees, Geography & History, Questions

It’s Different With That Metric System

Woman #1: How do you calculate the average of two numbers?
Woman #2: Um…I think you add them up, and then divide the result by 2.
Woman #1: Are you sure?

Ontario Ministry of Finance
33 King Street West,
Oshawa, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on November 2, 2014
Canadia, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Questions

On Facebook.

Drive-thru cashier #1: He doesn't know you're pregnant, does he?
Drive-thru cashier #2: No, he'll find out… the hard way.

Newmarket
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on October 31, 2014
Canadia, Coworkers, Family, Health & Hygiene

Let’s Just Say I’m Into Pain

Worker #1: I’m heading out of the office, have a great weekend!
Worker #2: No thank you, I’d rather not.

Niagara
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on October 27, 2014
Canadia, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Feelings, Weirdness, Wishes

Clearly Miami

Dude to employee who just returned from Florida vacation: So were there more Mexicans in Miami or in Florida?
Employee who just returned from Florida vacation: That is the dumbest thing I have ever been asked.

Richmond West
Toronto, Canadia

Posted on October 27, 2014
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Insults, Questions

Could I Have Some Privacy?

Boss eating old almonds: Oh… God… I feel like I’m eating from a squirrel’s ass.

Goderich
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on October 24, 2014
Canadia, Dumb Bosses, Meals and Snacks

Oddly Enough, Those Are All Real Words.

Boss: Hey, are you good at org charts? Can you make me one?
Employee: I'm not a confectionist, but I can futz around and make you one.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Lookforthewoman

Posted on October 23, 2014
Bosses and Underlings, Canadia, Offers and requests, Sexuality

Sure, Get Me a Crowbar

Graphics guy: What format are these files?
Boss: They’re from the guy next door.
Graphics guy: Okay, but what kind of files are these supposed to be? There’s no extensions so I can’t open them in anything unless I rename them all and just guess the extension until I get it right.
Boss: Can you open them and check?

2245 Royal Windsor Drive
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Bob

Posted on October 18, 2014
Bosses and Underlings, Canadia, Designers and Photographers, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Questions, Smart Employees, Technology