Secretary: Oh my god. I walked past this hobo that smelled so bad I could taste it. I mean, I might as well have licked him.
Paralegal: Did he have blood running down his leg onto his foot? I think I’ve smelled him before, too.
601 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Customer: What’s this called?
Sales associate: A duvet cover.
Customer: No, no… what’s inside it?
Sales associate: A duvet.
IKEA
Costa Mesa, California
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Lady in large party: How can you remember all of this?
Waiter: The longer I stand here, the less I remember.
Restaurant
Placerville, California
Boss on phone: No, no, you gotta understand, I need some help down there…I’m not the pusher, I’m the receiver.
444 Spear Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: erikrand
Administrator: How was your Christmas?
Boss: Great. Now all I want is to get some sleep and find my underwear.
3740 Mill Creek Road
Mentone, California
Secretary #1: How was your mother's day?
Secretary #2: Oh, my mother is dead.
Secretary #1: I know. (hyena laugh)
Townsend St
San Francisco, California
Overpaid IT guy: Well, I’m here to help, but don’t expect me to know what’s going on.
San Francisco, California
Ditzy office manager to coworker: I think I just had, what do you call it, a brain hernia…
San Bernardino, California
Overheard by: Mister Chief
Older woman library user: I'd like to send a sympathy card to Perry Como.
Librarian: I thought he died several years ago.
Library user: I know. The last address I have is in Jupiter, Florida.
Hawthorne, California
Overheard by: librain13
CSR: Today needs to be over. I’m so seriously ready to slit my wrists–
The phone rings.
CSR: Good afternoon. This is [Nelly], how can I help you? Oh…hi! How are you doing?…Oh, I’m great! Mm-hmm, yes, of course! I just have to pull up your previous order…Oh, really? Oh! Well, that’s okay!…No, really!…Oh, stop it! Ha, ha! Okay, well thanks for calling anyway! Yes…Thank you, I will! You also, okay? M’kay, bye!…Jesus. Okay, so, what the fuck was I saying again?
950 Tower Lane
Foster City, California
