California

Operations Manager: You don’t like peanut butter? You’ve just blasphemed in my office!

10 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, California

Overheard by: Timbleweed

Manager: I’m going to be turning in my old laptop for a new one. I want to get another IBM, one of the ultralight ones.
Techie: We’re not leasing IBMs anymore. We’re currently leasing HPs and Dells.
Manager: I don’t like the HPs and I really want an IBM. How can I get one?
Techie: Well…you would need to provide us with a medical reason and a doctor’s note.

10 Almaden Boulevard
San Jose, California

Overheard by: Stealth Nerf

Attorney: Jesus, why do they keep hiring from the Gnome and Troll Temp Agency?

550 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Girl: This whole thing is such a tragedy.
Guy: I know, I actually have some old friends there that survived, luckily.
Girl: Where is Tsunami, anyways?

21 Spectrum Pointe
Lake Forest, California

Overheard by: Brandon Walter

Tech Support Technician: Okay…go ahead and open up the internet.

777 S. Figueroa Street
Los Angeles, California

Developer: We need to determine the different between how the HTML team views 10 pixels as opposed to how web experience is viewing 10 pixels.

50 Beale Street
San Francisco, California

Co-worker #1: She isn’t listening to you.
Co-worker #2: I know, she never does. She’s like a robot fueled by diet Coke.
Android: It’s called focus. Look into it.

87 McLea Court
San Francisco, California

Employee #1: I’ve talked to National and one group says we should be doing this procedure but another group doesn’t want us to do this procedure.
Employee #2: Hmm. You should follow up with National, then.
Employee #3: That’s what [Employee #1] has been talking about, her follow-up with National.
Employee #2: Oh. When was the last time you talked to them?
Employee #1: About two or three weeks ago.
Employee #2: Yeah, that’s too soon.

10 Almaden Boulevard
San Jose, California

Overheard by: Stealth Nerf

Co-worker: Would you like a donut?
Enormous woman: No, thank you.
Co-worker: Why not? Are you on a diet or something?
Enormous woman: Actually, yes, I am on a diet. I am going on vacation to Hawaii at the end of the month and I have only six more pounds to lose until I reach my goal! I want to take a helicopter ride over Kilauea, but the helicopter company charges $100 more if you weigh more than 200 pounds. Hope they don’t weigh me on the spot since I am not sure I will be less than 200 pounds unless it’s in the morning, after I’ve had a pee, and I’m nude…Does anyone have any topics they’d like to add to the agenda for today?
Manager: Um…yeah, I do, but give me a minute.

560 McCarthy Boulevard
Milpitas, California

Overheard by: CW Slave

Co-worker: Ideally everything would be perfect.

9630 S. Norwalk Boulevard
Santa Fe Springs, California

Overheard by: Josh Bartel