State senator, addressing the senate about DNA swabbing: Of course it's invasive, you're sticking something in someone else's mouth!
State Senate
Raleigh, North Carolina
State senator, addressing the senate about DNA swabbing: Of course it's invasive, you're sticking something in someone else's mouth!
State Senate
Raleigh, North Carolina
Crew chief on phone: Hello?…No, I can’t talk right now, my truck is on fire….Okay, I’ll call you back. My truck is on fire….Okay, I’ll deal with this tonight. My truck is on fire….Okay my truck is on fire, I can’t really talk right now….Okay, my truck is literally on fire beneath me, I’ll call you back.
303 Second Street West
Brooks, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Shane Parker
Boss, explaining why he hates a Christmas song: I heard that during my aborted vasectomy, so every time I hear it I think of the doctor trying to slit me!
Northshore, Massachusetts
New boss: It's fun to pop little babies' toes and watch them scream.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: poor babies
Head of security: There's nothing wrong with having an expanded vocabulary.
Chief engineer: I fuckin' love it!
Boston, Massachusetts
Female coworker: What's your pet peeve?
Female boss: Men who can't cut their toenails.
Female coworker: Why?
Female boss: Because that means they have beer bellies.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Dyan
Project Manager: What’s that band-aid on your neck for?
Owner: I had a melanoma removed.
Worker: Oh, I thought you were on the patch, but I didn’t know they made a patch for “Asshole”.
Owner: No, it’s for hemorrhoids. I’m going to disappear.
8929 Rosedale Highway
Bakersfield, California
Purchasing manager: We’re renegades. We’re running with the wolves. We ordered hot chocolate.
1 Railroad Ave
Cooperstown, New York
