Exasperated boss on phone: Well that's great, Jake. Maybe I should go downstairs and slam my head in the car door a few times.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Exasperated boss on phone: Well that's great, Jake. Maybe I should go downstairs and slam my head in the car door a few times.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Office girl #1: She's in heat, so she's all swollen, and Bostons get gross swollen.
Boss: That's probably why she was running around town.
Office girl #2: I thought it was only males that run off when they're horny?
Boss: Nah, girls are whores, too.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudian flip
Boss, discovering an unused file cabinet: We can get babies and let them nap in here!
Los Angeles, California
Manager: So there was this one time I spent $600 on snack foods.
Clerk #1: What?
Manager: Yeah, my friend and I went to the grocery store and bought a ton of food, but we also decided to bring along his cat in a backpack, and then we let him out in the store because we figured he was old and wouldn't escape…but he did. We lost him in the store, and then we left.
Clerk #2: You just left the cat behind?!
Manager: There's no stopping the Frito Bandito.
Maine Mall
Portland, Maine
Woman to HR director: Can I get workers compensation for pulling my twat muscle?
HR director: What’s a twat muscle?
Dallas, Texas
Ditzy member of upper management: No, it's not internal, it's out-ternal.
Schaumburg, Illinois
Boss, about a customer’s outrage at an e-mail: I think it was the “best regards” that sent him over the edge.
Los Angeles, California
Partner: Tell me something. Does anyone around here care about me at all? I mean if I were to drop dead right here and now in the middle of the floor would just leave me lying there or at least push me into a dark corner?
Receptionist: I’m sure I could manage a little bit better than that.
Partner: Well, thank you. At least someone cares.
1218 Webster Street
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Office Slave
Employee: You're not going to a chiropractor, are you?
Boss: No. She's a lesbian voodoo doctor. She's next to a bagel shop.
Vancouver
Canadia
