Supervisor: How are you doing today?
Peon: Okay, I guess. If the coffee doesn't kick in soon I may turn into some kind of fire-breathing hell beast.
Supervisor: (stares)
Peon: You can't stay and watch!
Supervisor: Fine.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Can't look away…
Boss to employee: Here's a thought: why don't you stop being such a parasite?
Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Boss to office: There's human waste in the air… It must be spring!
Marana, Arizona
Painter #1: I can't find that roller anywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check…
Painter #1, interrupting: I've looked everywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check your butt?
Painter #1: Did you check your mom's butt?
Painter #2: Did you check your mom's face?
Boss painter: Dammit guys, get back to work!
Atlanta, Georgia
Team leader to claims adjuster: You know what? Sometimes you just gotta go in there, bend over and say “here, John*, just take me.”
Brentwood, Tennessee
Supervisor: What are you eating?
Office minion: It's a Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme chocolate bar.
Supervisor: That looks gross! It's all black and white.
Office minion: Are you kidding? It's racial harmony in a bar.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Meha
Male manager in office full of women: I can't believe with all these bitches here I actually have to get my own coffee!
Hartselle, Alabama
Overheard by: OMG! He's got a Death Wish
Manager to employee: Even with a few billion dollars, I think that a gay Jew would have a bit of trouble getting elected pope.
Employee: They picked a Nazi last time.
Manager: Well, yes, but even a Nazi is better than a gay Jew.
Employee: I have a bumper sticker that says that.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Director: How was your vacation?
African American employee: It was good.
Director: You're so dark you can lay in the sun for two minutes, then hang at the Tiki bar all day.
Park Ridge, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lucy
Boss to peon: I think you should be in charge of figuring this out so we can blame you if it all blows up.
Peon: I'm not really comfortable with that approach.
Boss: I think you should learn to work with a lesser degree of comfort.
Washington, DC
