They're Still Quivering

Director to peon: Hey! My thighs have been thinking about you all day! (awkward silence) Um, because of the fudge you gave me, that is.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Another nearby Peon

Posted on April 2, 2010
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Louisiana, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality

…Up Your Butt!

Female office worker: I'll take care of it. I have great attention to detail, I'm very anal retentive about that sort of thing. Anytime you want anal, I'm your girl.
(15 seconds of silence) I think that came out wrong. You know what I meant, right?
Boss: Well, okay, team, looks like we have that one assigned. Moving on…

Anaheim, California

Posted on March 29, 2010
Bosses and Underlings, California, Sexuality, Weirdness, Wishes

…Kill All Humans?

Boss to office: What does a robotics team do?

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: stuck in cube neighbor hell

Posted on March 15, 2010
Bosses and Underlings, Florida, Questions, Technology

And If You're Interested in the Other Thing, I Have Some Diagrams That May Help.

Female director to peon about to leave to celebrate anniversary: I hope you have plans to do your wife right this weekend. (five second awkward pause) And by that I mean “do right by your wife this weekend.” I gotta go, bye!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: r

Posted on March 15, 2010
Bosses and Underlings, Family, Louisiana, Sexuality, Wishes

Jen Warned Me About You.

Proprietor to employee: Can I grab you a minute?

Oakland, New Jersey

Posted on March 12, 2010
Bosses and Underlings, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sexuality

Only to a Straight One, Like Ted Haggard.

Office drone #1: Is there any money left for this?
Gay manager: No. Well, there's some money, but I can't give it all to you.
Office drone #1: Well, we need more.
Gay manager: Well, you can't have more. I'll give you half, okay?
Office drone #1: God, you are such a tight arse.
Office drone #2, in panic: You can't say that to a gay homosexual!

South Morang
Australia

Overheard by: Straight and amused.

Posted on March 5, 2010
Australia, Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Insults, Money, Questions, Sexuality

It's a Walk-Facilitation Apparatus!

Female boss to employee: Take your cane and come here!
Male employee: It's not a cane!

Montreal
Canadia

Overheard by: Ron

Posted on March 1, 2010
Bosses and Underlings, Canadia, Health & Hygiene, Words

Thank Goodness I Keep an Emergency Hair-bow in My Purse!

Male college admissions rep at event: Wait. Do I need to be somewhere? Do I need to be doing something?
Female superior: You need to stand here now, and look pretty.
Male college admissions rep: Done.

Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: it's like this all the time