Painter #1: I can't find that roller anywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check…
Painter #1, interrupting: I've looked everywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check your butt?
Painter #1: Did you check your mom's butt?
Painter #2: Did you check your mom's face?
Boss painter: Dammit guys, get back to work!
Atlanta, Georgia
Team leader to claims adjuster: You know what? Sometimes you just gotta go in there, bend over and say “here, John*, just take me.”
Brentwood, Tennessee
Supervisor: What are you eating?
Office minion: It's a Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme chocolate bar.
Supervisor: That looks gross! It's all black and white.
Office minion: Are you kidding? It's racial harmony in a bar.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Meha
Male manager in office full of women: I can't believe with all these bitches here I actually have to get my own coffee!
Hartselle, Alabama
Overheard by: OMG! He's got a Death Wish
Manager to employee: Even with a few billion dollars, I think that a gay Jew would have a bit of trouble getting elected pope.
Employee: They picked a Nazi last time.
Manager: Well, yes, but even a Nazi is better than a gay Jew.
Employee: I have a bumper sticker that says that.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Director: How was your vacation?
African American employee: It was good.
Director: You're so dark you can lay in the sun for two minutes, then hang at the Tiki bar all day.
Park Ridge, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lucy
Boss to peon: I think you should be in charge of figuring this out so we can blame you if it all blows up.
Peon: I'm not really comfortable with that approach.
Boss: I think you should learn to work with a lesser degree of comfort.
Washington, DC
Manager: Yeah, I called the bank to get our change ready, but half the time you call them and it's not ready when we get there!
Coworker: Isn't that like what we do, though?
Pizza Place
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Lola
Manager: Take the mop bucket over to the mop area.
Employee: How?
Iowa
Boss to staff: The most important thing about this party is that it's a chance to touch our clients.
Atlanta, Georgia
