Project Manager: He said this, and we thought he meant that, and he thought we were doing this, and they thought we were doing that, and they didn’t tell us they wanted that so we did this…and it all got lost in the…in the…in the big washing machine of communication.
Developer: Or possibly the tumble drier of tautology.
1-4 Warple Way
Acton, London
Boss: Well, apparently he has a girlfriend who may be going through cancer treatments. But you can still be friends with him, it’s good to have connections.
Secretary: What? No! I don’t need any more friends. She has cancer? God, I can’t compete with that, forget it.
321 Walnut Street
Green Cove Springs, Florida
Manager: How’re you doing? You’re not overworked, are you? I’m not giving you too much to do, am I?
Worker-bee: No, I’m okay…
Manager: Good, because I’m just going to keep giving you stuff to do until you tell me to fuck off.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Claims supervisor to claims processor: You will need to send out a denial form on this one. The renter's policy does not cover contraction of sexually transmitted diseases while visiting the apartment.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: GirlFriday
Boss: I stuck this in your box.
Employee: You just stay out of my box!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: BWC
Employee: Can I Borrow a dime?
Boss's Sister: Hold on, I need to remember if that's 5 or 10 cents.
Monaca, Pennsylvania
Mentor: You really shouldn't wear shorts to work.
Intern: I know, but I had to.
Mentor: Why?
Intern: It was raining.
Oil Company
Houston, Texas
Attorney: Why did you bill all of these overtime hours?
Paralegal: Because you're a faggot!
Manhattan, New York
Training manager, looking at bottle of water: This water has a green twinge to it.
Training drone: I'm sorry?
Training manager: Look at this water! It has a green twinge to it!
Training drone: Are you asking if the water looks green to me?
Training manager: Yeah! A twinge of green!
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Mortgage Whisperer
Boss: So I have this client, and he's kind of slightly mentally retarded, and he's a huge Cubs fan…
Underling, not missing a beat: That's like saying “I need to go the to the ATM machine to get cash money so I can pay for my beef with au jus.”
Boss, blinking and frowning: I don't get it. And I'm a Cubs fan!
Wicker Park
Chicago, Illinois
