Bosses and Underlings

Underling to boss, about baking cake balls: So yeah, you put your balls in the fridge, cause otherwise they get kinda sweaty.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Deena

Underling: Do you want me to send out the memo or send you the draft for you to release?
Boss: You can send it out. I trust you're not calling for the downfall of the government or anything.

Brook Park, Ohio

Overheard by: Isaac

Manager #1: Amy* had her baby last week.
Manager #2: Who’s Amy?
Manager #1: She’s one of our graphic design artists. She’s very beautiful.
VP: Yeah, she is pretty. And she looked really good… Well, up until the end.

2700 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas

Overheard by: soolka

Male boss: I will go K-Fed on your ass.
Male employee: What?
Male boss: Don’t make me make you pregnant.

Orlando, Florida

Boss: Where’s [Justin]?
Employee: He’s up my ass…want to tickle his feet?

800 Livingston Avenue
North Brunswick, New Jersey

Supervisor: So you and your brother have different fathers, then?
Worker: Yeah.
Supervisor: So you guys are related through your mom.
Worker: Naw, not really.
Supervisor: Wait, so how are you guys related, then?
Worker: I dunno. We’re just brothers.

3901 Via Oro Avenue
Long Beach, California

Overheard by: bored on first day of work

Worker: Bob’s balls are hanging out of his shorts.
Manager: Yeah, he’s got real hangers.
Worker: You should tell him.
Manager: I like it. No one else can see it, and it’s his lunch break. Besides, you’ve been looking at his scrotum for the last ten minutes.

Balboa Park
San Diego, California

Overheard by: fellow worker sitting nearby

Manager to bagger: I need you to do a big favor for me… Actually, it’s not a favor so much as your job.

Food and drug store
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Sarah

Employee: So, I know that we don't normally do this, but my father in law is sick and I need to telecommute from here. Is that okay?
Boss on speaker phone: Well, I guess telecommuting is acceptable for this week, but try not to let the situation go on much longer.
Employee to husband after, hanging up the phone: I think he just told me to kill your father.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: I don't know that I have that kind of power!

Peon: Oh, you're going downstairs? Can I get a fag yogurt?
Manager: A… what?
Peon: A fag yogurt. (pause) Well, it's spelled f-a-g-e but we pronounce it the other… way. It's kind of… funny. (long pause) Am I fired?

Manhattan, New York