IT guy: I'm not sure how we can figure out what happened.
IT manager: Well, I guess the only thing you can do is grab the batch.
IT secretary, eavesdropping: I think I got in trouble for that in high school.
IT manager: For what?
IT secretary: For grabbing a batch.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: i'm sure she did
Director to underling: So you're trying to tell me that you work in this industry and you don't have an alcohol or substance-abuse problem!?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Garrett
Overlord: It’s just like “Devil Went Down to Georgia” — the devil clearly wins but, they try to sell it like Johnny did.
Underling #1: Oh, yeah, the devil clearly wins.
Underling #2: No, it’s about the fiddle playing, you can’t bring the band of demons into the mix. Johnny wins on fiddle playing.
Underling #1: I can see what you’re saying but, the devil’s flash takes it.
Overlord: Right, the groove is undeniable.
Underling #2: You know what, let’s not have this discussion again. I don’t want to be mad on a Friday afternoon.
2525 State Road
Bensalem, Pennsylvania
Susan*: What language was that?
Office lady, hanging up phone: Croatian.
Susan: Oh, wow, I didn’t know you were black. [Entire office goes silent.]Boss, from his office: Susan*, you’re fired.
Garden City, New York
Boss lady: I see a dinosaur.
Minion: Is that the same one that made you break your arm?
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: L.J
Manager: I just want to know — what is the penetration of 12 to 17-year-old girls?
Analyst: I’m not sure we want to show that…
Manager: They need to know how many 12 to 17-year-olds have been penetrated!
28 State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss: Why don’t I just shove a sock down your throat to shut you up?
Secretary: Yeah that’s fine, just make sure it’s not the sock you stuff your pants with!
Company Office
Fort Drum, New York
CFO: Well, don’t you look dolled up today! What is the occasion?
Payroll: It’s the first day of my sexual harassment litigation…
Kirkland, Washington
Overheard by: oops
Boss: Does anyone need this 2005 calendar?
Grunt: No thanks; my time machine is broken.
414 South Main Street
Independence, Oregon
Supervisor: Jeremy* did not come in or call for three days. What should we do?
Manager: Spank him?
803 West Seale
Nacogdoches, Texas
Overheard by: Glinda Bright
