Body Parts

Of Course They’re Expensive –They’re Moloko Dispensers

Hick girl #1: Look, I’m just saying, that bitch was a bitch.
Hick girl #2: She is such a bitch.
Hick girl #1: I know. And her costume wasn’t even funny.
Hick girl #2: I don’t think they’re supposed to be funny. I think they’re supposed to be scary.
Hick girl #1: Her tits are scary.
Hick girl #2: She’s always showin’ her tits. I don’t wanna see them scary-ass tits.
Bitch: My tits are expensive, you stupid hick bitches.
Hick girl #1: Why didn’t you say you were in there, bitch? God, you’re a bitch.
Hick girl #2: Bitch.

Nashville, Tennessee

I Swear, This Has Never Happened to Me Before

Male boss to female receptionist: Don’t worry about it. Your finger just got excited, is all.

1120 G Street NW
Washington, DC

Why She's No Longer Allowed to Write Movie Reviews for the Company Newsletter

Female admin assistant to another, about cubicle relocation: I mean, I like it all just fine, but if I had a wiener I wouldn't get a boner or anything.

Houston, Texas

Our Ancestors Were Hunters, You Know

Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn't really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.”
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn't recognize her.

Des Moines, Iowa

4PM Coffee Break

Sales guy #1: You know, this hand sanitizer stuff. Can you like.. wash with it?

Uncertain silence.

Sales guy #1: Like, wash your whole body?
Sales guy #2: Well, you’re going to need a bigger bottle.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

That and the Tragic Banana Allergy

Coworker #1 to coworker #2, wearing a cast: What did you do to your hand?
Coworker #2: I broke my thumb.
Coworker #1: You need your thumb. That's what makes you not a monkey!

Titusville, Florida

Overheard by: Hoss

Why Do You Think We Hired Her?

Female account exec #1: How do you pronounce Leslie's* last name?
Female account exec #2: “Scrotum?”
Female account exec #1: “Screwum?”
Female account exec #2: I guess there's a lot of bad ways you can pronounce her name.

New York City, New York

Have You Seen This Year's Potato Crop?

Friend of coworker: (mumbling)
Coworker: So now I am sensitive to size!
Friend of coworker: (more mumbling).

University of Idaho
Moscow, Idaho

…Oops, Wrong Job!

Typist lady, answering the phone: Hello! How are you this morning? (pause) I'm wet.

Yaphank, New York

Overheard by: Junior

I Think That's What She Told a Bunch Of the Voters

Voice on phone coming out of an office: Really? Because I thought she only had one tit.
(cube dweller swings head around in disbelief)
Voice on the phone: You know like one of the Amazon ladies who shave their breasts off?
(cube dweller scurries away)

New Hampshire

Overheard by: David

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist