I'll Never Understand Male Masturbatory Slang

Quality assurance employee: Well, I gotta go test some stuff.
Developer: Okay, hope your eye doesn't explode!

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: durp

Posted on April 27, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Missouri, Weirdness, Wishes

That's What My Gyno Calls It!

Paul: When did you lose your virginity?
Mike: Well, I was sixteen. But I touched my first vagina when I was six.
Paul: What?
Mike: Yeah. We were playing a game I like to call, “Dr. Pokey Fingers.”

Stamford, Connecticut

Posted on April 26, 2015
Age and ageing, Body Parts, Connecticut, Friends, Names, Questions, Sexuality

…I Like That in a Co-worker.

Employee to another, after going through office fridge: Hey, you're making my nuts all smelly.

Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

Posted on April 26, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, New Jersey, Sensory Experiences

From My Big Book Of Ways to Deal with Nosy Co-Workers

Worker: Hey, Cheryl*, do you know where the Tylenol is?
Receptionist: It should be under the fax machine. Do you have a headache?
Worker (nonchalantly): No, my balls really hurt today.
Receptionist (after long pause): Oh.

Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on April 25, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Nebraska, Questions, Receptionists

She Can Write That off As a Job Expense

Guy #1: So, my daughter tells me she wants to get her tongue pierced, and I told her there was no way in hell I would let her fuck up her teeth after all of the money we spent with those braces straightening up her teeth. And after I said that she actually understood where I was coming from.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah. Now she wants to get her nipples pierced.

Government office
Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: b-chomp

Posted on April 24, 2015
Advice, Body Parts, Coworkers, Family, Gripes, Virginia

Your Editors Are Not Proud Of Having Seen This DVD

Innocent Mormon: Hey, does anyone want to lick this?
Rest of coworkers, giggling: Ummmm… No.
Innocent Mormon: I want someone else to lick it, I hate licking it myself.
Helpful coworker: Just go get your finger wet and rub it on there.

South Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on April 24, 2015
Advice, Body Parts, Coworkers, Gripes, Offers and requests, Religious folk, Sexuality, Utah, Weirdness, Wishes

Long Story Short, She Wants a Divorce

Male coworker: I told my wife what you call my little thing.
Female coworker: (stunned silence)

Westlake, Texas

Overheard by: Epp

Posted on April 24, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Names, Sexuality, Texas

No Wonder He Was Voted Employee Of the Mouth

Male CSR #1: I just keep thinking about his soft lips. His big soft lips.
Female CSR & male CSR #2: (blank look)
Male CSR #1: Did he…I knew he was a complicated little man.

Portland, Oregon

Posted on April 23, 2015
Body Parts, Customer Service, Customer Support, Oregon, Physical Appearance, Sexuality

I Realize It's Important to Set Stretch Goals

Female boss on phone: I have never seen one that big, I don't think I can handle one that big.

Pharmacy
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on April 21, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses, Georgia, On the phone, Sexuality

Only If It Had Room for a Bagel

Office guy: Your toaster is too small.
Office gal: It isn't my toaster.
Office guy: It's close to your desk.
Office gal: If I shoved it up your ass, would it be your toaster?

Seattle, Washington

Posted on April 21, 2015
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Employees, General Idiocy, Technology, Washington

Body Parts