Doctor: Okay, so what are you having done today? Varicose veins?
Woman waiting for surgery: What? No. I'm having a port put in.
Nurse: A port? Well, you don't need a port for varicose veins.
Woman waiting for surgery: I know it's for my chemo.
Nurse: Oh, I get it now. I thought your form said “Cheerios.”
Australia
Proud grandmother to coworker: Look, here's the latest picture of my granddaughter! She's four now!
Coworker: She is so cute! I see she still has that unibrow thing going on. Will she have it lasered off?
Proud grandmother: Maybe. But she is growing into it.
Irvine, California
Coworker on cell: I just don't understand bro, what do you need a real human head for?
Baltimore, Maryland
Employee #1 to #2: Hey, haven't seen you on FarmVille in a while.
Employee #2: Yeah, I've been busy.
Employee #3, walking into office: What are you talking about?
Employee #1: Oh, nothing, just telling Mark* that he needs to get off his ass and come plow my crops.
Employee #3, walking out of office: Wow… Just wow.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: FBook has changed the world as we know it…
Employee, to boss : These internet blocks suck. I just got kicked off for trying to google whether or not Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite!
Boss : Well, try to remember to look it up when you get home.
Providence, Rhode Island
Boss: Yeah, the credit card rates were higher than the balls of a giraffe.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nance
Boss at computer: So, when you say “inbox”… What exactly do you mean by that?
Manhattan, New York
Lawyer: I didn't ask for it, I didn't seek it out. All I know is that someone had their hand on my penis.
Chesapeake, Virginia
Female secretary: Anybody need a really big box? Cause I got one! (pauses, then everybody in the room starts giggling) Oh, grow up!
6th Ave
New York, New York
Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants
CSA coming off phone call: I just customer serviced the arse off that last customer!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: curious supervisor
