Elderly patient: Go away, you cross-eyed slut!
Nurse: I'm not cross-eyed!
Hospital
Hillsboro, Oregon
Elderly patient: Go away, you cross-eyed slut!
Nurse: I'm not cross-eyed!
Hospital
Hillsboro, Oregon
Female coworker: I love a big one dipped in Nutella.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Boss: What is all of this? My e-mail is overflowing with junk mail.
Manager: Just delete it all.
Manager, to assistant: You hear that, Jen*? You gotta keep your junk clean!
(silence followed by uncontrollable laughter)
Jen: That wasn't inappropriate at all.
Edmonton
Canadia
Female co-worker #1: You do have gonads.
Female co-worker #2: I do?
1800 M Street NW
Washington, DC
Office assistant: I can take 'em in my mouth all day long, but not in my body.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Drafting dork: Hey, do you have any binder clips?
Female coworker: Why?
Drafting dork: I want to clip them to my nipples.
Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: I'mNotHazel
Coworker: These shoes fit me so tight, it feels like my foot is inside a vagina.
Ssilverdale, Washington
Overheard by: holy awkward
Worker #1: He has a groin pull so he’s asking for pain pills .
Worker #2: He told me he hurt his leg.
Consultant: Yeah, my third leg. I’m a tripod.
Worker #1: A tripod wouldn’t have hurt himself playing basketball with a 50 or under league.
100 Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Regina C
Lady in elevator: Well, I operated on my eye again. I looked in the mirror and saw another big white thing so I got the needle and the lighter. This time it went pop and all the stuff went into my eye. I was thinking: “Now I’ll get staph!”
Century Place
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: delworthio
Female coworker: Hey, can you grab my box?
Male coworker: Yeah, did all of the wood fit in it?
Spokane, Washington
