Which Is What People Have Come to Expect from “Toys R' Butts”

Coworker #1: What is wrong with this web page?
Coworker #2: Nothing, it's just ass and toys.

Green Bay, Wisconsin

Posted on August 17, 2019
Body Parts, Coworkers, Questions, Technology, Wisconsin

The Law's a Cruel Mistress, Betsy

Female attorney to secretary: Even the three-ways are a pain in the butt.

Asheville, North Carolina

Posted on August 14, 2019
Admins, Body Parts, Gripes, Lawyers, North Carolina

Now If Only We Could Figure Out a Way to Blame This on Men…

Person #1: My vagina is as fucked as the Gaza strip.
Person #2: Can I suggest a nice Jewish gyno?
Person #1: I don't want her to colonize my vag. Monistat will work just fine.
Person #2: You could just shove some Challah bread up there and have the yeast go to town on your sorry ghettoized crotch.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on August 12, 2019
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Weirdness, Wishes

3PM Smoke Break

Co-worker #1: Hey, are your balls getting hot?
Co-worker #2: Quite.
Co-worker #1: I hear a hot laptop kills your sperm.
Co-worker #2: I’m all for it. I smoke the seeds, too.

1759 T Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Brendan B

Posted on August 8, 2019
Body Parts, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

If It Involves Your Bunions Again, I'm Hanging Up.

Coworker on phone: Ma'am, are you an owner with Melvin? I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. Again, ma'am, I can't help you if you're not an owner with Melvin. We didn't even book your vaca…okay, fine. Tell me your little story.

Redmond, Washington

Posted on August 6, 2019
Body Parts, Coworkers, On the phone, Questions, Vacation, Washington

Raise Your Hand If You Love Wite-Out

Old lady #1: They'll be all “whats that white stuff on yo' face?”
Old lady #2: Just tell 'em it's White-Out or something…

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Posted on August 5, 2019
Body Parts, Colors, Friends, New Jersey, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

And Maybe You Could Spruce It Up a Bit?

Art director to photographer: So, how big is your rack?
(rest of table bursts out laughing)
Art director: Okay! I guess we're all 13 here!
Photographer: You gotta admit, that was good.
Art director: Yeah, it was good.
(at the end of photo shoot meeting)
Art director: Don't forget to bring your rack on Friday!

Van Nuys, California