Worker #1: We grilled chicken hearts the other night.
Worker #2: Really? Like, how big are they?
Worker #1, gesturing: Not very. We have to make several skewers full because they are so little.
Worker #2: Do you even know how many chickens it takes to get one heart? Poor things!
Virginia
Guy to friend: I need to get a girlfriend just for like a week or so. Just to get that stench on me. Besides, girls dig guys with hairy arms.
Shanghai
China
Female client on exercise bike: It's squeaking somewhere.
Maintenance man on his knees before her and bike: I've lubed every part I can find!
Searcy, Arkansas
Dock worker: You know, it would be really cool if we found an eyeball floating in a one of these bottles!
Dock supervisor: What?! Do you know how much paperwork I would have if that happened?
Syosset, New York
15-year-old to sister, after receiving her first pap smear: It was weird!
14-year-old sister: What happened?
15-year-old: I took my pants off. Then he put his finger in my butt!
14-year-old: Oh my god! Then what?
15-year-old: That lady stood there and watched!
Louisiana
Male coworker #1: I just couldn't take my eyes off her mound. It was so big and, well, unorganized.
Male coworker #2: Big mounds, seems to be the Monday thing around here. Seen one, seen 'em all.
Female coworker, passing through: Well boys, you must be talking about other people's paperwork again, since we all know you both haven't seen a real mound in the last decade.
Male coworker #2: We were actually talking about your mound. Organize that shit, will ya?
Female coworker, laughing: Never!
Kitchener
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Michele
Person #1: Legs, arms, everywhere!
Person #2: Like, male and female?
Person #1: Yes!
Government Office
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: Laura
Cube dweller #1: Know what I was thinking?
Cube dweller #2, watching hottie walking by: Soft luscious hooters and long muscular legs?
Cube dweller #1: Umm… No. (turns to watch hottie) I should have been, but it was something else.
Woodland Hills, California
Overheard by: Gunboat
Make-up artist: I heard you broke your wiener.
Male performer: Damn it, who told you? You're the eighth person to ask me that this morning.
Make-up artist: Oh, Mike* told me.
Male performer: That guy!
Make-up artist: He's the wiener whisperer.
Adult Film Company
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Male #1: You have a Buddha head! I just want to rub it! Do you like it when people rub your head?
Male #2: Yes, I do.
Male #1: Okay, this just got weird.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
