Butcher: Careful! Blood on the ground’s slippery.
Clerk: …I never want to hear anyone say that to me again.
110 Route 23
Riverdale, New Jersey
Butcher: Careful! Blood on the ground’s slippery.
Clerk: …I never want to hear anyone say that to me again.
110 Route 23
Riverdale, New Jersey
Hair salon receptionist: My last boyfriend cheated on me.
Nail girl: Oh, that’s terrible. I had one boyfriend cheat on me in the past, too.
Hair salon receptionist: Well, you know what they say, “Hindsight is 24/7.”
3202 E. Los Angeles Avenue
Simi Valley, California
Overheard by: Bruce Bristol
Eastern European cocktail waitress: So what is this “stepping up to the plate” you spoke of in our meeting?
Bar manager: It’s an analogy…OK, it’s like this: in baseball, you step into the batter’s box. You step up to the plate to try and hit a home run. That’s what we need, is home runs here.
Eastern European cocktail waitress: I don’t understand your speech at all.
Bar manager: Great! Now I’m going to have to explain what an analogy is.
Bourbon Street Casino
120 E. Flamingo Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: KellyMarie
Yard worker: I raked the yard yesterday and I figured I’d be sore but I’m not.
400 lb. woman: I would be. You’re in better shape than I am.
Co-worker: Who isn’t?
246 Scoville Hill Road
Harwinton, Connecticut
A memo went out stating the upstairs bathrooms will be shut down for one week to redo the walls, sinks and plumbing. An executive tries to barge in anyway.
Union guy: You can’t go in there.
Executive: Don’t you know who I am?
450 W. 33rd Street
New York, NY
Maintenance guy: How many nervous breakdowns are we allowed to have in a year?
Office Manager: Excuse me?
Maintenance guy: I don’t know if we are supposed to stay within a goal.
5825 Chimney Rock Road
Houston, Texas
Messenger: I hope that you and your tits have a nice weekend.
1430 Broadway
New York, NY
Mail guy #1: He said he smoked crack at work?
Mail guy #2: Yeah.
Mail guy #1: How did he do that?
Mail guy #2: He said he did it in the bathroom.
Mail guy #1: But how?
Mail guy #2: How?
Mail guy #1: Yeah. He has to walk past about 2 guards to get in the building. Those people are trained to smell shit and they know if you’re coming in here dirty.
281 Tresser Boulevard
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Brenda Fate
Coworker #1: We should have a race to see who can put the windows in faster!
Coworker #2: Wait, does anyone even know how to put windows in?
Coworker #3, making inappropriate hand motions: I do! You just put it in the hole and nail it!
Pekin, Illinois
Food service worker: And he was all reaching for them, like, “can I touch them?”
Maintenance worker: What?
Food service worker: Yeah! And I said, “no, you cannot touch them. Where I'm raised, you don't just go touch them.”
Maintenance worker: Yeah, you can't just reach out and grab them.
Food service worker: No! Well, he didn't speak much English, but I think he got the point.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Trying not to smile
