Elderly, stately female boss: Well, this fax machine will have to do for now. It can't get anything in it but it can still put out. (pauses) Oh, my. I actually said that.
Tucson, Arizona
Elderly, stately female boss: Well, this fax machine will have to do for now. It can't get anything in it but it can still put out. (pauses) Oh, my. I actually said that.
Tucson, Arizona
Coworker on phone: You’d be an amazing human being if you brought me some nibbles on your way here. If not, then you’re clearly the mongoloid I always suspected you to be.
401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
Ad rep #1: The best movie is on TV tonight.
Ad rep #2: What movie is that?
Ad rep #1: Gone with the Wind.
Ad rep #2: Is that the same as…? No, that’s A Walk in the Clouds.
Programmers: What?!
Ad rep #2: I got confused — they’re similar. Well, which one is Gone with the Wind?
Ad rep #1: It has Clark Gable.
Ad rep #2: Is that the guy that played Superman?
120 West 1st Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Writer handing director a piece of peppermint bark: Be careful. It’s very hard on your teeth.
Designer: It can really do some damage.
Marketing director: You guys are going about it all wrong. You have to learn to eat it like a beaver.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Programmer: I’m just saying that if, by some miracle Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps and Jerry Falwell had all died in a meteor attack…
Boss: I would convert. Right there. I’d become an instant christian.
Programmer: I would keep the sabbath holy.
Boss: I would keep the sabbath *fucking* holy. Hell, if god can manage to paralyze Paris Hilton from the waist down…
Programmer: I would start to tithe.
Boss: I would start to *fucking* tithe.
Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Rep: What’s a vaginal dilator?
Nurse: A penis?
4645 East Cotton Center Boulevard
Phoenix, Arizona
Reporter: I wasn't drinking because I was depressed; I was partying so I could feel young.
Mesa, Arizona
Caller: I’m having contractions!
911 operator: Are you pregnant?
201 Spring Street
Springdale, Arizona
Overheard by: push, push
Trainer: You like the weather out here?
New girl: Yeah, it’s really dry… And, um, weird for directions and stuff, you know? Like, does the sun set in the west out here, too?
Trainer: Uh, yeah.
Phoenix, Arizona
Male teen: I sent her to get it, but you know you can't trust Lisa with cheap beer.
Rogers, Arizona
Overheard by: Joel
