Lawyer: Did you know there was a gun in the house?
Defendant: No.
Lawyer: Did you hold the gun at any point?
Defendant: No.
Lawyer: Did you threaten anyone with the gun?
Defendant: I don’t remember.
Courthouse
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: not a juror
Worker on phone: Hi, Amy*, this is Emily* in editorial. Are you new back there?
IT chick: Yeah.
Worker: Okay, well, I’m having a problem with my phone. I just got a new phone with a caller ID screen on it, but when I get calls the screen is blank. Is there some button I have to push, or…?
IT chick: Well, why don’t you try unplugging the phone and then plugging it back in. I’ll stay on the line.
Worker: Um…
120 West 1st Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Big Ideas
Female coworker: What's your pet peeve?
Female boss: Men who can't cut their toenails.
Female coworker: Why?
Female boss: Because that means they have beer bellies.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Dyan
CSR: I can’t understand her. She’s confusing me…She’s talking all smart and stuff.
3320 West Cheryl Drive
Phoenix, Arizona
Patron: Can I get some Equal for my tea?
Waitress: You mean, like, a lemon?
Phoenix, Arizona
Coworker #1: Did you work here in 1993?
Coworker #2: ‘Here’ in what sense?
1110 West Washington Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: next cube over
Queer peon: You need to shave.
Scruffy suit: Shaving's for homos!
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Not Homo
Spanish teacher, in Spanish: Margarita, what are you doing today?
Margarita: [Mutters something in Spanish.]Student: Did you just say, ‘I’m planning to attend the party where it is raining babies’?
Margarita: Baby shower. I’m going to a baby shower!
Community college
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: oh my
Elderly, stately female boss: Well, this fax machine will have to do for now. It can't get anything in it but it can still put out. (pauses) Oh, my. I actually said that.
Tucson, Arizona
Coworker on phone: You’d be an amazing human being if you brought me some nibbles on your way here. If not, then you’re clearly the mongoloid I always suspected you to be.
401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
