This Sort Of Thing Happens Before Lift-Off at NASA All the Time

Boss to office (about imminent website launch): Five minutes to go live!
Boss to sysadmin: Are you going to do anything?
Sysadmin to boss: I'm diabetic, I need a burrito.
Boss to office: Go live delayed for burrito.

Tucson, Arizona

Posted on April 25, 2015
Arizona, Bosses, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Health & Hygiene, Internet, Meals and Snacks, Nerds and Geeks, Tech People, Technology

11AM Check Forecast

VP: Did you see the numbers today?
Marketing Manager: No. Is it bad?
VP: No. We’re up.
Marketing Manager: We are?
VP: Yeah. Yesterday we were down 4.31, today we’re up 0.51%. I mean, the goal was 10% so we’re not out of the woods.
Marketing Manager: So it’s like they’ve given us a year to live, not six months?
VP: Something like that.

16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Miel Durand

Posted on April 22, 2015
Arizona, Bosses, Executives, General Idiocy, Money, Questions

I Knew It I Knew It I Knew It

Systems Engineer: How long will it take for you to implement [the customer]’s changes?
Engineer: About two-three weeks. So four weeks.
Systems Engineer: Good. And how long will it take you to make your changes?
Intern: Well, I already did it, and it took an hour.
Systems Engineer: Okay, I’ll tell them five weeks total.

1440 N. Fiesta Boulevard
Gilbert, Arizona

Posted on April 22, 2015
Arizona, Bosses and Underlings, Nerds and Geeks, Questions, Tech People, Technology, Time Management

5PM That’s a Wrap

Home Depot worker: And so he says to me, “Are those metric inches?”

650 North 54th Street
Chandler, Arizona

Posted on April 17, 2015
Arizona, Blue Collar, General Idiocy, Questions

Wasted Away Again in Marymagdaville

Owner: Oh shit. I just spilled tequila on the church fliers.

Jonesboro, Arizona

Overheard by: Mark Knight

Posted on April 12, 2015
Accidents, Arizona, Bosses, Default, Drinking

That’s Why You Shouldn’t Mix Salty Foods with Carbonated Beverages

Marketing manager: Uh-oh. I just totally blogged.

4th Avenue and Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: embarrassed for you

Posted on April 8, 2015
Arizona, Dumb Bosses, Technology

In Many Ways, Eve Was Just As Annoying As the Serpent.

Office drone: What does this apple taste like, and is it crunchy?

Tempe, Arizona

Posted on April 8, 2015
Arizona, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sensory Experiences

I’m Talking Quantum-Singularity Black

Manager: Could you make this a lighter red?
Designer: You mean pink?
Manager: No, not pink. A lighter red.
Designer: Uh…
Manager: And this part here — do you have a darker black?
Designer: No, black is pretty much black.
Manager: Well, it needs to be darker than black.

Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: bobby

Posted on April 2, 2015
Arizona, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy

… Instead of Just the FBI and Major League Baseball

Professor: Someone hacked into the university’s website, and now the Russian mafia has all of your information.

University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on April 2, 2015
Arizona, Teachers, Threats

Unlike Tap Dancers?

Electronics clerk: If I were a tap dancer, I’d tap dance all over the store.
Jewelry clerk: Like this? [Flails arms and pretends to tap dance.]Electronics clerk: No… That was gay.

2600 Midland Boulevard
Ft. Smith, Arizona

Overheard by: i love my job

Posted on March 26, 2015
Arizona, Coworkers, Insults