Peon #1: No, that’s not what she had. This is the woman with the original penis.
Peon #2, after long pause: What’s that?
Peon #1: The original penis. She had the first one.
Peon #2: … Oh.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Peon #1: No, that’s not what she had. This is the woman with the original penis.
Peon #2, after long pause: What’s that?
Peon #1: The original penis. She had the first one.
Peon #2: … Oh.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Department head to HR manager: I don’t fucking care who caught Drew* doing who or what in the bathroom! You do not drug test editors two weeks before the deadline!
McKemey Road
Chandler, Arizona
Attorney: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
355 North Euclid Avenue
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: oh my
Maintenance man to another: Seems like you're always on your knees.
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Erin
Co-worker #1: Hey, come in here for a sec!
Co-worker #2: Can it wait a second? I’m trying to finish this by lunch.
Co-worker #1: Never mind; it’s just fart noises.
712 South McClintock Drive
Tempe, Arizona
Agent on phone: Good afternoon, Mrs. Arrington*. I just wanted to remind you to purchase a very snug belt before July 20th because you will get your pants rocked off.
6000 East Camelback Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Coworker secretly returning another’s bag of snacks while clutching stomach: Good God. This must be how those people who are eating that 200-pound, anatomically correct chocolate Jesus feel. Pardon me while I unbutton my pants so I can breathe.
300 North McKemy Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
Guy: I used to work in an inner city office.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah, I learned lots of words from them. Like ‘booyah’. It means ‘good.’ Like, ‘That is booyah!’
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: The Intern
Coworker #1: So what are you doing this weekend?
Coworker #2: My wife and I are celebrating our 23rd anniversary.
Coworker #1: So how long have you guys been married?
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: huh?
Employee #1: See, I don’t understand that. Explain that to me.
Employee #2: Okay.
Employee #1: Well…go ahead…
1920 W. Lindner Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
