Manager, discussing female coworker who is slacking: Well, make sure you stay on top of her.
Worker: Yup, I'll be on top of her for sure!
Toronto
Ontario
Manager: So, can we finally take his picture off the home page?
Developer: What’s the matter? Do you have something against nipples?
Manager: I don’t even like the word ‘nipples.’ ‘Butter,’ that’s another word I don’t like.
Developer: You should meet a friend of mine. She doesn’t like the word ‘goggles’.
Centre St
New York
Computer-whiz colleague: You should do program-testing while I'm here, then I can come and help you with any problems.
Serious colleague: So, you don't mind being grabbed?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Female coworker: I hate kids.
Male coworker: That’ll change when you get pregnant.
Female coworker: But I never want kids!
Male coworker: Better stop drinking.
405 Hilgard Avenue
Los Angeles, California
Middle Manager: Snapfish is right in downtown San Francisco.
Transsexual: Hmm, maybe I should go work for them.
Middle Manager: Oh, you’d love it, they’re very diverse…They’re all young. They’re all under 40.
Transsexual: Oh, maybe I’m too old.
3404 East Harmony Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Loud office chick: You're growing new bones in your body! You have to drink milk!
Hudson Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Dad: Son, do not be inept when you grow up.
Son: What is “inept”?
Dad: Ridiculously bad at your job.
Son: No promises there, dad.
Washington, Illinois
Overheard by: Laura
Receptionist: Hey, help me with this list. The boss wants me to go to the store and get some stuff for the coffee room. You know, stuff like filters and cups and stuff. But I can’t figure out what these icet rays are.
HR clerk: Let me see the list…Sweetie, this says ice trays. You know, for the freezer to freeze water into cubes.
Receptionist: Are you sure? Because if the boss wants icet rays, that’s what I better get.
HR clerk: Well okay, if you really want icet rays, try the office supply store and make them check in the back. You may have to ask for their manager.
Receptionist: Thanks, see you in a little while.
HR clerk: You know, I should have used that opportunity to sell her a bridge.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Attorney: I’m so pregnant… My husband always says, ‘Honey, you’re a whale!’ And then I tell him, ‘Shut up! You’re an immigrant!’
Admin: You should really stop saying that to him.
Attorney: Well, he is, and it’s a term of endearment! Like when I call you a dirty whore!
Hackensack, New Jersey
