Underling: These people were home users. We also have data for work users, but they shouldn’t be double-counted in the combined numbers.
Boss: I am definitely going to Taco Bell tonight.
10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Underling: These people were home users. We also have data for work users, but they shouldn’t be double-counted in the combined numbers.
Boss: I am definitely going to Taco Bell tonight.
10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Employee: How long do I have to work here before I receive health
insurance?
Boss: Oh…Um…We don’t do that here. I know some hospitals that
won’t report you to the credit bureaus, though.
1101 Robin Hill Lane
Bel Air, Maryland
Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know!
Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado
Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.
Renton, Washington
Boss: Can you help me with this Word document? I want to change it so that the layout is horizontal instead of vertical.
Secretary: Okay, go into File, then Page Setup.
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: You see where it says “Page Source”?
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: Okay. Now you see where it says “Orientation”? Make your choice.
Boss: Gay or straight?
525 Collins Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Captain Pants
Older IT guy: I live by the rule of thumb: “If the stick's not bigger than your thumb, you can beat 'em with it!” (laughs) Okay, now, go to your sent box…
Sparks, Maryland
Overheard by: Operator
Principal over loud speaker: Attention, students, I repeat: the 400-level office is not an aquarium!
Montour High School Administration Building
McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: nemo
Boss: So do you think I should get 3 pies for the meeting since we have 30 people?
Worker Bee #1: Sure, 3 pies should be enough.
Worker Bee #2: I think you need more than 3.
Worker Bee #1: How many do you think we should get?
Worker Bee #2: We need 3.14159 pi.
Boss: Get out of my office. Now.
1010 Second Avenue
San Diego, California
Office chick: I’m the coordinator for that program, so just holler if you get all tied up and need me to solicit someone for you.
14750 Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Don’t pick me
(scientist gets in a packed elevator)
Scientist: I can’t believe it’s this busy the day before Thanksgiving.
Secretary: Surprisingly.
Scientist: I said: “I can’t believe it’s this busy!” It’s the day before Thanksgiving!
Tech: It’s actually two days from Thanksgiving.
Scientist: I’m going to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the family!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuffing with it, save time.
(scientist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That wasn’t nice.
Suit: He farted while in an elevator, I don’t care.
Extremely Small Elevator
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
