Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Knowing things. Like, knowing knowledge about everything.
Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Knowing things. Like, knowing knowledge about everything.
Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Internet hipster: It's a meme of a meme, so it's meta.
Boss: What?!
Fontana, California
Co-worker #1: Have you ever been to Greece?
Co-worker #2: Yup.
Co-worker #1: Did you go see ruins of Pantheos?
Co-worker #2: You mean, “the Parthenon?”
Co-worker #1: Yeah, that’s it! Aw man, today I’ve got…what’s that called?
Co-worker #2: Stupid?
Co-worker #1: Ha, ha. Very funny. No…oh! Mind dyslexia!
Co-worker #2: As opposed to body dyslexia?
216 W. Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker #1: So they made me change my password. The old one was really cool. “Sloth,” you know, like the animal.
Co-worker #2: There’s no such animal as a sloth. I think sloth is supposed to be like a sin or something.
1697 Broadway
New York, NY
Supervisor: Was this class as bad I thought?
Female cop, leaving seminar, about instructor: He likes to say 'quick and dirty' way too much and the dude rambles like a drunk riding a bicycle.
Louisiana State Police Head Quarters
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: i snuck out early, too
Cube dweller #1 (also a Pastor): I’ve always wanted to write a book and call it “Pratfalls in the Pulpit”.
Cube dweller #2: “Crap Falls in your Pocket?”
Cube dweller #1: Well, that’s appropriate, too.
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Tuna
Director: I don’t think that will cut the mustard.
Manager: You mean “pass muster”?
Director: No, it’s “cut the mustard!”
Manager: I think you’re trying to say you cut the cheese.
8001 Irvine Center Drive
Irvine, Calif.
Overheard by: Pffft
VP: How do you spell “only”? Is it o-w-n-l-y?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: the man has 3 degrees
Suit: How do you spell “dyslexia”? I keep mixing up the letters.
3 Second Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Lawyer: Oh, he’s a philanderer?
Legal assistant: No, he works at a paint store.
14340 57th Avenue
Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
